Sexual Fantasies: Redeeming Your Imagination

I’ve spoken to many people who wished they could flick a switch in their minds to turn off their imaginations. Often this is due to anxious thoughts, intrusive images, and sexual sin, including sexual fantasies. But have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a perfectly pure and God-glorifying imagination—an imagination that enables you to lift your heart in worship to God, despite difficult circumstances that might otherwise cause you to lose hope?

Our imaginations are a gift from the Lord, intended to help us worship him. Scripture feeds our imaginations with an array of metaphors to describe ourselves, our world, our God, and his coming kingdom. Trees, fruit, stars, sheep, shepherds, fire, storms, seeds, garments, tents, flowers, vines, jewels, light, fortresses, bread, salt, lions, sand, wine, honey . . . the list is vast.

Imagination and Sexual Fantasies

However, because of the fall, our imaginations are deeply and profoundly affected by sin. Our imaginations can lead us into temptation, cause us to sin, and bring significant distress and suffering into our lives.

Psychologists tell us that there is significant variation in human imagination, with some people experiencing an almost complete inability to conjure up visual images (aphantasia), while others can visualize images with photographic vividness (hyperphantasia). Not only is there variation in our visual imaginations, but also in how we imagine sound, taste, smell, and touch, and in the strength of emotions and physiological reactions that can accompany what we imagine.

People with vivid imaginations are more likely to experience more intense and realistic sexual fantasies. Additionally, past sexual experiences and exposure to pornography feeds our imagination in ways that can intensify the struggle and make resisting sinful thoughts very difficult.

Perhaps you have cried out with Paul, “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” (Rom. 7:24). On our own, it is impossible to have a pure and God-glorifying imagination. But “thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord” (Rom. 7:25a)! Jesus has broken the power of sin through his death, and, by his Spirit, he enables us to turn from sin, to resist it, and to grow in Christlike holiness.

The Lord wants to redeem all of you, including your imagination. He will help you! I pray that the following seven steps will encourage you on this Spirit-fueled journey of fighting sexual fantasies.

1. Pray for Your Imagination

“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.” (Rom. 12:1)

Whatever you have used your imagination for in the past, your gracious God invites you to offer your whole self—body, mind, imagination—to him as a living sacrifice. He has already made you holy and acceptable before him through the blood of Christ! And now, in an act of spiritual worship, you can give yourself wholeheartedly to his redeeming, transforming love.

Begin by talking to the Lord about your imagination—thank him for it, share with him how you would like your imagination to be redeemed and purified, submit it to the sanctifying work of his Spirit, and ask him to lead you as you pursue the holiness found only in him.

2. Confess Your Sexual Fantasies

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

When we indulge in sexual fantasies, shame and discouragement can cause us to hide and turn away from the Lord. Remind yourself that you have been invited to approach the throne of grace with confidence (Heb. 4:15–16). Confession is a vital part of how we draw near to the Lord, knowing that the Father’s abundant forgiveness is available and joyfully given through Christ. Don’t be tempted to hide anymore!

Similarly, don’t be tempted to stop at conviction over your sin and think that conviction alone will make it go away or be enough to resist sin next time. Spirit-fueled conviction is meant to drive us toward confession. And with confession comes this amazing promise from the Lord that we will be forgiven and cleansed from all unrighteousness.

3. Praise Him!

“Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered… Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, O righteous, and shout for joy, all you upright in heart!” (Ps. 32:1, 11)

We have great reasons to praise God! The truths that you proclaim as you praise him will shape and encourage your heart and mind, and you will bring him pleasure and honor as you do this.

4. Share and Ask for Help

“If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another.” (1 John 1:7)

Consider sharing your desire to redeem your imagination with a trusted Christian friend. Praise God together and consider being honest with this friend about the nature of your struggle against sexual fantasies and the ways you’re seeking to grow. Ask them to pray for you and check in with you about this.

5. Starve Temptation

“Flee from sexual immorality.” (1 Cor. 6:18)

We should do everything we can to avoid stirring up or engaging in sexual sin in our minds. This means actively turning away from sources of temptation to starve sinful appetites and sexual fantasies: avoid looking at pornography, reading provocative books, watching provocative movies, looking at others with lustful intent, or engaging in any sexual activity outside its God-given place.

For more practical help in this area, I encourage you to explore “A First Aid Kit for Sexual Temptation.”

6. Feed Your Imagination

“The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. Day to day pours out speech, and night to night reveals knowledge.” Ps. 19:1

Read Scripture and notice the imagery God provides to feed your imagination. One of my favorites is the metaphor Jesus gives in John 15:1–8 of his people abiding in him as branches abide in the vine—this helps me understand and visualize the reality that Jesus is my source of spiritual life, nourishment, and fruitfulness.

Spend time meditating on the metaphors that you find—creating mental images of what the Lord is speaking about. Some people find it beneficial to have pictures in their wallets or on their walls of some of these metaphors to remind them daily of biblical truths—perhaps grapes on a vine, a lamb being held by a shepherd, or a child holding its father’s hand.

Read books or watch movies that will feed your imagination with good things. Find out from mature Christians what has encouraged them on their spiritual journey—but be careful! What some found helpful might be a stumbling block to you. Ask if there’s any sexually explicit material in it.

Spend time in creation and take time to notice the world around you—the wildlife, the light, the sensations of being in nature. Consciously and prayerfully absorb what the Lord has given in your surroundings that point you to him. Something as small and accessible as a coffee bean, a wildflower, or a bird can point us to the creativity and beauty of our Creator.

7. Love and Serve Others

“Love your neighbor as yourself.” Matt. 22:29

Sexual fantasies often involve treating other people like objects for our gratification. This is abhorrent to God. By the Spirit’s work in you, it will be increasingly abhorrent to you, too.

The Lord commands us to love our neighbor—to recognize God’s image in all people and to serve them as Christ has served us.

After confessing your lack of love and resting in the Lord’s forgiveness, ask him to help you love your neighbor. There might be unique ways that you can do this in your context that the Lord wants to draw your attention to. Perhaps he will even use your vivid imagination to enable you to serve others well!

Spend time imagining the Lord’s pleasure as he sees you walk in obedience to him—not only in resisting sexual fantasies and cultivating a godly imagination, but also in seeking to love him and those he has created. Imagine what he can do in and through you through these small but faithful efforts! It may take time, but he is able.

“Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever.” (Eph. 3:20)