Praying with Your Kids in Pride Month

This June, Pride Month will once again confront our families with lots of questions. Some of these questions will be uncomfortable for us to grapple with, but throughout history, Christian parents have raised kids in cultures that reject the way of Jesus. For them, questions like the ones confronting us today during Pride Month would be all too familiar. How will we respond? What is God’s answer to our confusion . . . and our fear? Praying with your kids during Pride Month is an important way to shepherd their hearts—and your own—as we engage with our lost neighbors.

It’s Pride Month . . .  

Jack’s family is walking to church on Sunday morning, and he’s already annoyed. They had to park farther away than usual due to the Pride Month Parade traffic downtown, and the late June sun is hot. He’s carrying his pre-school daughter, while his sons complain loudly about their collared shirts and dress shoes. Jack sighs in exasperation, realizing they’ll need to cross the parade route to get to church. As they approach the crowd, the kids’ questions start. What’s that song? Can we have rainbow beads? Why are those men in their underwear? Can we take off our shirts, too? His daughter waves at a drag queen, who winks back and says, “Hey there, princess!” Jack scowls and shouts, “Everybody just keep walking!”

Angie agreed to let her daughter wear her unicorn rain boots to the zoo today, even though there isn’t a cloud in the sky, and Kate is bouncing with energy. As they approach the entrance, they hear live music. Angie laughs as Kate begins to dance—but then she sees it. The zoo has a giant bubble machine set up for kids to celebrate Pride Month, and volunteers are handing out free unicorn headbands. Kate loves bubbles . . . and, of course, unicorns. Kate’s eyes light up, but Angie stops walking. How is she supposed to explain to her five-year-old why these bubbles and unicorns don’t honor Jesus? In a master stroke of redirection, she asks if Kate wants to go get ice cream instead—the only thing she loves more than bubbles and unicorns. It’s ten o’clock in the morning. Angie doesn’t care.

During Pride Month, whether we live in Washington or Wichita, it’s inescapable: we are raising our kids in exile.

Brad and his son Max find their seats at the soccer stadium, amid pounding drums, waving flags, and chanting supporters. The team walks onto the field to raucous cheers—but Brad’s heart sinks. They’re all wearing rainbow-colored warm-up jerseys. It’s Pride Night. Maybe his son won’t notice. But just then, Max groans: “Oh no, not him too.” Brad turns to see Max pointing at his favorite player. “Dad, he’s dressed like a fairy!” Brad chuckles, not sure what else to do. Stadium attendants start handing out rainbow-colored signs to hold up at kick-off. Without hesitation, Max rips his sign in half and throws it on the ground—looking at his dad for approval. Brad knows where he learned this. He nods and smiles uncomfortably.

The car door opens, and Jennifer smiles cautiously as her daughter climbs in. “How was school?” Before Olivia can respond, Jennifer sees it. “Hey, what’s that on your wrist?” Olivia sighs deeply. “It’s a rainbow bracelet, Mom. Don’t freak out. I’m wearing it in solidarity.” Jennifer feels a lump in her throat and stammers, “Oh . . . okay.” Olivia continues, “My friend Sydney has been planning this Pride Month assembly for weeks, but the principal just cancelled it. He said it’s ‘too controversial’ now. It’s not fair. Sydney and her friends just want to be accepted and not bullied for who they are. Why is that controversial?” It’s been a long time since Olivia’s told Jennifer anything about her school friends, after their last argument. Jennifer pauses . . . and then says, “I don’t know, baby.”

Parenting as Exiles

Can you relate to these parents?

When your family comes face-to-face with the celebration of Pride Month, what tends to happen in your heart? And how have you typically responded? Have you responded with disgust, mockery, or anger—maybe silence? Have you been tempted to fight, or flee . . . or compromise?

We raise our children in a culture that’s sharply divided when it comes to the Christian faith. Some reject God’s Word outright, while others try to use it to advance their own agendas. It can be easy to forget in December, when our culture joins us in singing hymns about Jesus. But in June, we’re brought back to reality as our culture loudly sings its own hymn, proclaiming that we are the only saviors we need. During Pride Month, whether we live in Washington or Wichita, it’s inescapable: we are raising our kids in exile (1 Pet. 1:1).

The sooner we realize that we live in Babylon, not Jerusalem, the sooner we will begin to understand our assignment. We must raise kids who can courageously look Nebuchadnezzar in the face and say, “we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up” (Dan. 3:18). Yet we must also raise kids who are humble, compassionate, and wise—well thought of by outsiders (1 Tim. 3:7).

This is a tall order and, thanks be to God, he does not expect us to do this alone. He has given us his body, the church, to help us raise our children to love and serve him as faithful exiles—even during Pride Month. Most importantly, he has given us his Spirit. United to Christ, we parent by his power. We are “more than conquerors through him who loved us” (Rom. 8:37). Jesus sees and knows our children, and he loves them far more than we ever could.

There is much that can be written about parenting as exiles in an LGBT-affirming culture, far more than the scope of this blog post.^[1] But God gives us a good place to start, in Jeremiah’s prophetic word to the Israelite exiles in Babylon: “Seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the LORD on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare” (Jer. 29:7).

As we parent through another Pride Month in exile, the best place to start with our kids is praying for our LGBTQ+ neighbors.

Rachel Gilson recounts a story about her friend’s eight-year-old daughter who was angry about all of the pride flags in their neighborhood. “Instead of being angry,” her friend said, “Let’s decide that every time we see a rainbow flag, we’re going to take a minute to pray for the people who put the flag up, that they would have a chance to hear the gospel and put their trust in Jesus.”^[2]

Jesus sees and knows our children, and he loves them far more than we ever could.

What if we undertook this challenge with our kids this Pride Month, with God’s help? It won’t be easy. For one thing, it will require us to be present and aware. Some of us may not even notice rainbow flags anymore. It will also require time—maybe a lot of time, depending on your neighborhood. We might have to deal with our own feelings about the people who put up these flags. But it will form us, and form our kids, as we take our feelings to the Lord—whether anger, sadness, doubt, or compassion—and ask him to give us his eyes, his heart, his desire, and his love for our LGBT-identifying neighbors.

On-the-Go Prayers for Pride Month

• Dear Jesus, we thank you for our boy bodies and girl bodies, unique and different and very good. We’re sorry for the ways we use our bodies to do what we think is best, instead of what you tell us is best. We pray for the men and women waving these flags at the parade today, that they will hear your call of love to them. We pray that they will turn from trusting in themselves and trust you as King of their hearts and their bodies. Help us show them your love and kindness.

• Dear Jesus, we thank you for summer days and laughter. We thank you for rain boots and bubbles and unicorns! You love to give us good gifts, but sometimes we use these gifts, which you like, to celebrate things that you don’t like. We pray for the boys and girls, mommies and daddies who are dancing in these bubbles today. We pray that they will know you are a God of joy and laughter—the true Giver of all good things. We trust you to give us what we need today.

• Dear Jesus, we get angry when people use the rainbow, your sign of promise, to celebrate something that you say is bad for us. We know you are angry, too, when powerful people cause your little ones to sin. But in our anger, Lord, help us not to sin. We confess our pride and mockery of people who don’t know you. Forgive us, and help us speak your truth in your love. We want to be your lights in this crowd tonight.

• Dear Jesus, we get angry when people are bullied, and we mourn when we see our friends hurting. You are a God of justice, and you heal the brokenhearted. Help us have courage to stand up for those who are mistreated. We confess that sometimes we doubt your goodness, and we love comfort more than your truth. Help us trust that everything you say is for our good, and the good of our friends. We pray that everyone wearing this rainbow bracelet today for Pride Month will find the acceptance and belonging they long for in you alone.

In Jesus’s name,

Amen

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^[1] If you want to dig deeper on this question, I recommend checking out Rachel Gilson’s excellent book: Parenting Without Panic in an LGBT-Affirming World.

^[2] Parenting Without Panic, 61