How Can the Church Love People with Intersex Conditions?

I met Kara^[1] just days into my ministry with Harvest USA, and back then we did a lot of phone appointments. My conversation with her impacted me so deeply that I can still remember where I sat and listened to a story of profound suffering. Kara had experienced abuse and betrayal by those she should have been able to trust, and yet now, as a 34-year-old, she’d found someone she loved: a woman she’d met in the context of her suffering. She was conflicted about being in a same-sex romantic relationship and was looking for guidance.

We were winding down our conversation, and I was just about to schedule our next appointment when she said, “Oh, Ellen, there’s one more thing I should probably tell you. Two years ago, my parents told me that when I was born, it was discovered that I had intersex conditions; they couldn’t tell if I was male or female. Things pointed more towards being a girl, so that’s the path my parents chose for me. I’ve never doubted being a woman, but my question is: if I do DNA testing and it shows that I have XY chromosomes, what does that mean for my relationship with my girlfriend?”

I wasn’t sure what to say in response to Kara’s last-minute revelation but was eager to keep walking with her. Unfortunately, she cancelled our appointment, and I never heard from her again, even after attempts to reconnect.

How would you have responded to Kara’s dilemma? To her suffering?

What Does It Mean to Be Intersex?

People who are intersex^[2] are born with sex traits that don’t fit into typical male or female patterns. Medical professionals call these biological traits “differences (or disorders) of sex development” (DSD). Biological sex refers to a combination of characteristics, including chromosomes, gonads (ovaries or testes), hormones, internal reproductive anatomy, external genitalia, and the way these traits develop.

Intersex has become an umbrella term for the variations which some people experience in their sex development in utero. When the baby is born, those with intersex conditions have some aspect of differentiation from what is considered typical for the biological sex of male (XY chromosomes) or female (XX chromosomes). Thus, some people are born with atypical combinations of these things which makes biological sex more challenging to recognize clinically. However, in the far majority of cases, a female or male developmental pathway can be determined.

It’s important to note that while some intersex traits are noticeable at birth (genitals), others won’t be noticed until puberty. And in many cases, people live into adulthood unaware that something was or is amiss in their biological development. Like Kara, some learn about intersex conditions only when parents share the facts from their birth and early years. Others learn of intersex conditions when they get medical tests for unrelated reasons. Most of us never get tested regarding our chromosomal structure, so we assume our genetic makeup is the expected XX for women and XY for men. 

Intersex conditions are distinct from classic gender dysphoria as well as transgender experiences, both of which are primarily a mental, emotional, or psychological sense of incongruence with one’s body as male or female. Intersex conditions refer to physical characteristics, though, without question, they also result in emotional and psychological suffering.

Understanding the medical condition is one thing; loving the person is another.

People to Be Loved, Not Issues to Be Fixed

It’s disheartening that sexuality, including conversations related to LGBTQ+, have become politicized and weaponized by so many. Intersex individuals and families have been caught in the crosshairs of debate. These are men, women, boys, and girls all around us who were born with a physiological form of suffering that they will carry throughout their earthly days. Shame, feeling ‘other,’ infertility, sexual dysfunction, and confusion around identity are common for people with intersex conditions. Consider the profound angst to be genetically female yet have male appearing genitalia. Or to have male chromosomes (XY) yet to have ambiguous, female-appearing genitalia and a female appearance. Intersex conditions are understood as part of living in a fallen world where the body, like all creation, experiences complexity, disorder, and suffering (Rom. 8:22–23). The stories^[3] and various experiences of people born with intersex conditions are generally sprinkled with sentiments such as:

• I felt like a monster, a third kind of freak gender.
• I was ashamed of my body and heartbroken to learn later about my parents’ decision for surgery when I was so young.
• Of course, people made fun of me, assuming I was gay or trans or some other thing; I just didn’t fit into a boy or girl world.

Important Clarifications from a Biblical Lens

The Bible doesn’t explicitly talk about sexual development differences, though some point to eunuchs as a possible example of men born without the ability to reproduce due to damaged organs (see Matt. 19:12). However, what Scripture is clear about is that sin’s presence in the world has impacted every aspect of creation, including our bodies.

This isn’t, of course, to say that a child born intersex is under punishment for sin, or that the parents’ sin caused this suffering! Rather, all physical suffering—disease, disability, neurodivergence, mental illnesses, and death itself—are present in the world due to sin’s presence. Intersex conditions are a biological complexity, not a new gender category. This creates a complex reality for those who physically don’t ‘seem’ to be only female or male.

How does God’s word guide us to care for and understand people with intersex conditions?

• God created all of humanity as his male and female image bearers (Gen. 1–2). Intersex people are loved image-bearers of God, even if conditions exist which can obscure the typical biological markers for male or female.
• We are never to view people with intersex conditions from a worldly point of view (2 Cor. 5:16) or as mere statistics. For the person who is the one in 5,000, it doesn’t matter how “rare” these conditions are; they are suffering.
• We all share a common “groaning” as we live an embodied life, waiting for all things—including our bodies—to be made new (2 Cor. 4:16–5:10).
• There’s certainty and there’s mystery in why our bodies are the way they are. We can have full, certain confidence and trust that God created each of us, allowing our development to happen according to the tiniest detail by his hand (Ps. 139). However, there is also mystery, and it is often painful to consider why God allows various forms of suffering in our lives (Ps. 138:8; Job 1:21, 42:1–2).
• Jesus surely would have moved toward people living with intersex conditions, along with their loved ones, to bring his compassion, truth, and heaven-centered hope into their daily lives (Luke 4:18–19). And now we get to participate in his ministry to the hurting, broken-hearted, and physically suffering, loving others in his name (1 John 3:16).

Next Steps for Churches

The sexuality conversation in the church often revolves around topics that are more mainstream than intersex conditions. Battling the pornography pandemic, holding fast to a biblical view of marriage and relationships, and raising kids in a tech- and AI-saturated society provide much to keep us busy. But we must study, learn how to walk alongside, and teach and disciple our people to think biblically and minister compassionately to people with intersex conditions, too.

Here are four steps to help churches expand their application of the gospel into the lives of individuals and families who need care regarding intersex conditions and realities.

1. Learn. First, listen carefully to learn the story of someone who opens up to you about this reality in their lives. Then, learn more about this topic. This article is a brief start to help you learn medically and biblically about this topic. Commit to learning more from resources^[4] that will help you apply the gospel to this form of suffering.

2. Normalize. Mention the reality of intersex in discussions and sermons on suffering, the impact of the fall on creation, and so on. There are most likely people in your congregation who are facing this or know someone who is. But even beyond intersex, the need is great for suffering of all types to become standard fare for the body of Christ to share with one another, learning to bear each other up. Whether it’s physical, mental, emotional, financial or relational, we are all groaning in one way or another! What would it be like for people to sense a consistent, open invitation to be honest about their pain in your community of faith?

3. Resource. Develop a short list of ways to equip people with trustworthy sources of information. Consider the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia’s Klinefelter and Other X and Y Chromosome Variations Program for medical guidance.

4. Love. This really is the ultimate answer, isn’t it? Love isn’t a squishy, Valentine’s Day only sentiment, nor is it something we define based on feelings or opinions. Gospel love has muscles, affection, God’s truth, and life-engagement all woven together. Pray to have a gentle response if someone shares with you about an atypical sex development experience. Listening long and attentively is one of the most profound ways to show Christ’s love.

Christ, Our Hope

Looking back, I don’t think Kara needed me to give her a medical explanation or a long biblical exegesis of sexuality and gender. She didn’t need me to summarize for her what was suffering and what was sin in her life. I think, initially, she most needed someone to listen to her story, engage questions which were agonizing for her, and then lead her toward Jesus and his compassion and wisdom. Medical professionals could provide important expert guidance regarding her body, yet the gospel alone would give her ethical wisdom on how to live faithfully for God’s glory in her body. This, my friends, is what all churches need to be ready to offer those suffering due to intersex conditions.

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^[1] Name changed.

^[2] “Intersex,” Cleveland Clinic, May 1, 2026, https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/16324-intersex.

^[3] There are plenty of stories online which give a window into not only personal experience, but those of family members.

^[4] You can start by reading reviews of two books on intersex conditions: Intersex in Christ: Ambiguous Biology and the Gospel, Jennifer Anne Cox (Cascade Books: 2018). Reviewed by John McCLean, Themelios, volume 44, issue 2, https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/themelios/review/intersex-in-christ-ambiguous-biology-and-the-gospel/ and Beyond Male and Female? A Theological Account of Intersex Embodiment, Sam Aston (T&T Clark: 2025). Reviewed by Will Eastham, Themelios, volume 50 issue 3, https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/themelios/review/beyond-male-and-female-a-theological-account-of-intersex-embodiment/