The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water,

but a man of understanding will draw it out.

Proverbs 20:5

As my fifteenth anniversary of serving as Harvest USA’s Director of Women’s Ministry approaches, I’m moved to remember the deep waters that have spilled, poured, even gushed out in my office. These stories of traumatic pain, heavy shame, and piercing heartache from courageously humble women are transforming my faith and heart. Believers participate in God’s transformative power in each other’s lives by sharing and witnessing to his resurrection life amid trials and temptations. How could I not be changed by having a front row seat to this, week after week?!

One young seminarian came to my office and confessed aloud, for the first time in her life, a secret struggle with pornography. It was a tender, sacred moment. Immediately after her last word, she burst into tears; deep ache and shame were released as light broke into darkness.

A wife had her reality broken apart. Her husband had been adulterous for their entire marriage, giving way to same-sex temptations over and over with thousands of sexual partners. This dear woman said, “I always thought we had a great marriage, and so did everyone else.”

Another young wife and mom finally opened up to her friend about her same-sex desires. Though she had not acted upon them, her fears, shame, and confusion finally became too much. The safety of a good friend allowed those deep waters to be drawn out. Then she and I journeyed together for several months exploring what had been happening in her heart, thoughts, and life and how her SSA had impacted her. She’s fought hard, repeatedly humbled herself, and courageously kept herself in the light with trusted friends. She wrote the following poem when she was considering taking that scary, heart-pounding step of entrusting her secret to a trusted friend.

Behind the Veil

What will you see behind the veil
when I reveal deep waters of my soul—
scars from struggles of days gone by
still tender when exposed to love’s invite.

Will you enter this uncovered sacred space?
Will you stand speechless at the door?
Will you turn away and say no more?
I’m fearful to step from behind the veil
that conceals a battleground of tireless wars elapsed;
where anguished cries echo between dark and light.

Tattered heart laid bare, veil pulled back,
my face shines bright in victory of light—
weak and frail yet I stand in His might.
Will you meet me with those who face their fears
and linger here behind the veil?

Come, pause and discover the One who remains ever near beyond the veil.
His radiance brings light to the darkest night.
With tender care for his child, He absorbs every assault and gives victory of life.

Does one recover from living on the brink of death?
Lord, rescue me from its murderous threats.
Empty, cold nights haunt my bones
As I run in the dark, a child alone.
Jesus, you entered death’s threat in my stead.
Ominous cliffs crumbled into a rubble pile.
Threatening slopes made flat when you descended through the brink of death.
What casualties lie in its heap?
Lord rescue me from death’s residual sting.
His empty threats hold no power.
Whisper, Lord, and bring silence to death’s refrain.

Deep Waters Don’t Have to Drown Us!

Deep waters cover secrets—shipwrecks, otherworldly creatures, and dark, hidden caverns. We tuck our deepest sin, shame, and fear—as well as our secret dreams and hopes—into the hidden places of our souls. But our compassionate Savior sees all, and he calls us to walk in the light.

So, this week, I encourage you to pray two things:

First, ask the Lord to give you courage and humility to share your deep waters with someone. Are you a ministry leader bound up in pornography and terrified to let anyone know? Has a relationship become sexual or emotionally entangled to such a degree that you feel enslaved to this other person’s affections and demands upon you? Friend, Jesus sees and loves you; he knows! He cares too much to let you stay in the dark with those deep waters. Pray and ask him to give you the resolve to not stay hidden.

Second, pray that you will grow in courageous humility to be a ‘water drawer’—to have a patient, gentle, tenderhearted posture before the Lord and others who might need someone to help them and hear their confessions.

Reflect on the poet’s lament, above. Will you, by God’s grace, provide the opposite of what she and so many brothers and sisters fear?

Will you enter this uncovered sacred space? Yes, I will. I’m here to listen. I will hold your story of deep waters and help you find the healing and wisdom of the Living Water found only in Christ.

Will you stand speechless at the door? No, I will allow your story to invite me toward you. Though I may not know your path, I’ll help light your way with the Word we both need.

Will you turn away and say no more? I’m here. I will pray, listen, and stand with you, walking forward in the grace, hope, and forgiveness of Jesus.

I am fearful to step from behind the veil. I’ve been there too, my friend; you are not alone. But take one step and be known so that I can encourage you—not vaguely, but specifically.

There are deep waters all around us and in us. This week, ask Jesus to draw them out from you and through you. As we trust one another with our deep waters, we’re trusting Jesus, our crucified and risen Savior who is always faithful. His boundless grace covers and absorbs our darkness. May we enjoy him and walk daily in his light.

I believe God designed our hearts on earth to be motivated by future realities. We don’t eat ice cream at 4:00 p.m. because a delicious dinner is on the horizon. We don’t spend all our money on present desires because we need to save for the future. We accept painful physical exercise for short- and long-term health benefits. In our best moments, we’re always keeping the future in view.

It shouldn’t surprise us, then, that the apostles are so fixated upon the return of our Lord Jesus Christ. They repeatedly use the imminent and certain Day of the Lord as motivation for our present obedience:

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” (Heb. 10:24–25)

“Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” (1 Pet.1:13)

“For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.” (2 Cor. 5:10)

“Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains. You also, be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand.” (James 5:7­–8)

“For they themselves report concerning us the kind of reception we had among you, and how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God, and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead, Jesus who delivers us from the wrath to come.” (1 Thess. 1:9–10)

“Behold, I am coming soon, bringing my recompense with me, to repay each one for what he has done.” (Rev. 22:12)

The apostles wrote this way because Jesus taught them to focus on his return. Jesus spoke in many parables about his second coming and the great need to be prepared: we must have oil in our lamps, the proper wedding attire, wise investments of our talents, and faithfulness in God’s house.

Denying Christ’s Return

But what does this have to do with pornography?

Sin is a denial of Christ’s return. Looking at pornography is a tacit agreement with the skeptics who say, “Where is the promise of his coming? For ever since the fathers fell asleep, all things are continuing as they were from the beginning of creation” (2 Pet. 3:4). If we don’t believe Jesus is coming back, why bother with obedience? Our motivation matters! And this is where we need to be careful to understand Scripture correctly.

Our obedience does not earn our salvation—that’s impossible. Anyone seeking salvation through their own righteousness will be greatly disappointed when Jesus returns. Our motivation is not, “Don’t look at porn so that Jesus will accept you.”

No, faith in Jesus’s person and work is the only way of salvation and true obedience is only possible because of our secure acceptance in Christ. The gospel powers our motivation to obey: “Don’t look at porn because, in his abundant mercy, Jesus has accepted you.”

Fixing Our Hearts on Christ’s Return

So then, how does Christ’s coming return motivate our present obedience? There are at least five ways:

  • The crown of righteousness is for those who love his appearing (2 Timothy 4:8).

To be a Christian is to love Jesus—because he first loved us. Every true Christian can and must say, “Jesus, I love you.” Not only must we love him, but we must also love him above all others. What greater desire could we have than to see our Savior face to face? Fellow Christian, turn from pornography today because you love Jesus. May the thought of seeing him, as he is, turn your eyes from worthless things (Ps. 119:37).

  • Jesus will repay us for what we have done (Revelation 22:12).

Jesus teaches us to store up treasures in heaven that will last for eternity. He wants us to think like eternal investors. It’s exciting to think about small, frequent investments compounding over time into something much greater. I can’t overstate how much bigger the scale of compound interest is for eternal investments! Looking at pornography is the worst eternal investment policy.

  • There is a holiness without which no one will see the Lord (Hebrews 12:14).

This holiness is not referring to the imputed righteousness of Christ but the holiness of a believer’s sanctification. Our union with Christ deals with our guilt and defeats its power and corrupting influence in us. This doesn’t mean we’ll be perfect in this life, but we will be growing in holiness. Beware the lie that our present Christian life ever involves coasting. No, it is a constant striving! “Strive to enter through the narrow door” (Luke 13:24). “Strive to enter” God’s eternal rest (Heb. 4:11). “Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord” (Heb. 12:14).

  • Our holy living today is the future adornment of Christ’s bride (Revelation 19:8).

When Jesus returns, there’s going to be a wedding with Jesus the bridegroom and the church his bride. This is a corporate reality, but our individual lives matter. John speaks of this bride adorned with “fine linen, bright and pure,” representing “the righteous deeds of the saints” (Rev. 19). All Christians are in wedding preparation mode. Weeks—months—before the wedding, a bride is making meticulous preparations. But no matter how glorious she may look, there can be no comparison to the bride of Christ at the wedding supper of the Lamb.

  • Christ’s return will consummate our union and communion with God.

Every time we think of Christ’s return, we should be reminded of what life is all about—communion with God. We have that communion now, through Christ, but it’s by faith. It’s not yet consummated. But when Jesus returns—then and only then will the dwelling place of God be with man (Rev. 21:3). Until that day, all creation groans with longing and expectation (Rom. 8:22). Meditating on Christ’s return brings us back to the heart and center of all meaning and existence.

It’s hard to dwell on such weighty realities and then run to pornography. In the words of John Ross Macduff:

“Earth can now but tell the story of thy bitter cross and pain;

she shall yet behold the glory, when thou comest back to reign:

Christ is coming! Christ is coming!

Let each heart repeat the strain.”

When I was growing up, all cars had bumpers. These were extensions on the front and rear of the car that would absorb minor bumps and impacts. They did a lot to prevent damage from occurring to the rest of the car.

My old 1988 Volvo station wagon had bumpers of pure, hard-as-a-rock rubber extending about a foot out from the car both in front and in back. Okay, they were a little unsightly, but, boy! Am I glad I had those bumpers! Twice, my car was hit from the rear. My wife, Penny, and I were shaken but not hurt, and there was no damage at all to my car. The bumper absorbed all of the impact; it protected us from harm.

I miss those bumpers. They don’t exist on cars today like they used to, maybe because they were unattractive or too costly, but, whatever the reason, we’re worse off for not having them. They helped protect and guard the welfare of the riders.

Today, we seem to have lost our moral bumpers. We desperately need something to help our souls absorb impacts and keep us from being damaged as we live in an increasingly sex-saturated culture in which porn is the norm and we are encouraged to choose our own sexuality and gender—of which over 100 designations now exist, according to a quick Google search. And we don’t have to go looking for all of this anymore. Our hearts are daily, even hourly, bombarded as never before, presenting us with multiple opportunities to venture down dark and destructive roads. Temptations fly at us from all directions. As God warned us, “…sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is to have you ” (Genesis 4:7).

Maybe it’s the LUG (lesbian until graduation) group on campus that encourages young women to experiment with sexual “fluidity.” Or maybe it’s the temptation, only a keystroke away, that can send you into any one of 260 million porn webpages while sitting in your living room at one in the morning. Or maybe it’s a TV program that encourages more and more teens to “be all you can be” as a gay teen (to use an old US Army slogan)—pushing the boundaries of sexual identity to a younger and younger generation that really isn’t equipped to understand the impact of decisions made at age twelve. Maybe it’s the newest edition of “mommy porn” romance novels—whose sales increased 24% in just the twelve month period from March 2020 to March 2021 and accounts for one half of all fiction sold1. They promise women a secret, adventure-filled, fantasy world in an otherwise drab and monotonous life.

There has never been a greater need to have bumpers for our souls when it comes to the sexual frenzy thrown at us—something to help us absorb the impact of what’s assailing us, both from within and without. Sure, we can buy computer filters and accountability tracking for our computers (which I heartily recommend). We can warn our children about the dangers of television, movies, and the internet, which all teach the lie that finding our one true sexual identity is of the utmost importance and without consequences. But it all boils down to this: How do we manage the temptations that can wreck our souls and shipwreck our faith with only a collection of helps, instruction, and assorted programs which, although useful, are just are never enough? We need something more substantial.

Only as we intentionally seek to deepen our relationship with Jesus Christ can we face what the culture (and our own evil hearts) throw at us relentlessly. Only ongoing personal transformation—taking the gospel into the center of our hearts and allowing fellow believers to walk with us—can we weather the bumps and collisions we’re sure to encounter. Only by intentionally walking in the light each week, supported by others in prayer, engaging in Bible study, and making honest confession with each other about what life and our own hearts throw at us can we begin to shield and safeguard our souls. These days, I’m challenging more and more people to think about where their points of light are throughout their week. In other words, who and where are those people or small groups of people who know your story and the places of your greatest temptation and who also help you incorporate the gospel into your life and struggles?

I know I may be speaking a foreign language to some people reading this, especially since living in a COVID world has caused us to pull inward, check out, and live in more isolation than ever. I’m talking about radical living in a world that wants us to schedule our lives to death so that there’s no time to do the things I’ve just mentioned. There’s no shortcut to holiness, but Scripture emphasizes its importance, instructing us to pursue holiness, without which no one will see the Lord (Hebrews 12:14).

Pursuing Christ in private and in community with others is the only way to survive the train crash of a culture that promotes an anything-goes, sexually insane agenda. Only then can we discover that the gospel offers so much more real life for the soul than short-term, temporary “fixes” that compromise our very selves. The means of grace become that buffer and bumper we need to survive (and flourish) with potential crashes all around us.


1 King, Rachel. “Romance Novel Sales Continue to Boom.” Fortune, 21 Aug. 2021. Web.

 

It’s happened to me more times than I can count. I’m sitting with a man who has given in to sexual sin for the majority of his life. He’s tried many things to stop, but he keeps failing to say “no” to temptation. He’s fighting to believe that victory is possible, but he feels weary and scared. Teetering on the edge of hope and despair, he asks me a simple question: “Does the battle ever get any easier?”

While simple questions rarely have simple answers, David Powlison was fond of saying, “[There is a] simplicity on the far side of every complexity.”¹ So the simple answer to this question is, “Yes, the battle does get easier.” However, in order to understand what that really looks like, we need to wade through the complex depths of the human experience.

The battle has a context

In humility, we always need to treat each person as a unique individual, and that requires great attention to the details of their lives. I always want err on being slow to speak and quick to listen. I want to assume that I don’t know what this person needs unless I first get to know them. I want a holy curiosity about his or her life. I don’t just want to know about his sexual sin. I want to know about his family, his childhood, his hopes, his disappointments, his suffering, and his understanding of the world, God, and himself.

As I get to know someone more intimately, I begin to understand in greater ways the functionality of sexual sin in his life. I see more and more the specific false promises that sin has tailor-made to fit someone’s particular desires and weaknesses. Consider the complex algorithms employed by modern social media giants. How is it that Facebook knows exactly what advertisement will hook you? It’s because Facebook has studied you. Facebook knows your heart based on what you click on and how long you stay. Sin operates in the same way. The battle is so difficult partly because you have an enemy who knows exactly where you are weak. Sin preys on its knowledge of your life, your sufferings, your heart, and your desires, and it exploits them.

Growth in the battle against sexual sin requires an increasing self-awareness of your own life experiences and how they have shaped you. Your enemy knows your weaknesses. Do you?

The battle has a past

If we’re honest, we often live our lives thinking only about the present, and sin capitalizes on this short-sightedness. If I only think of life in 24-hour chunks, then what’s the big deal about eating one or two donuts? No problem, right? But what if I eat two donuts every day for a whole week? That’s 14 donuts. What if I eat that same amount for an entire month? Now you’re looking at close to 60 donuts! It’s not hard to see that this kind of lifestyle will lead to major health problems down the road. The problem is that you can’t simply stop eating donuts one day and then pretend like you didn’t eat donuts every day for the past 10 years. The effects of those 10 years will linger and perhaps have lasting, lifelong consequences.

We reap what we sow. In Galatians 6, Paul doesn’t sugarcoat the impact of years of sowing into fleshly desires. He writes, “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption” (Galatians 6:7–8). Sin has a corrupting impact on our hearts and minds. Every time you give in to sexual temptation, you are sowing seeds of corruption. Think of it like an investment. Sexual sin isn’t just an isolated event. Giving into temptation today makes it harder to resist tomorrow. And science has now definitively shown how habitual pornography use in particular actually rewires your brain to make you that much more prone to return again and again to your sin.

Someone who has sown into sexual sin for decades has a difficult battle ahead of him because he has invested into corruption. Even if in the present he does all the right things to avoid temptation, he will still be reaping the consequences of sowing into a corrupt mind for so long. This is why it’s so difficult to not automatically lust after others. This is why people feel like they lose all self-control when triggered by specific circumstances that lead them right back to their well-worn paths of sin.

That’s the bad news. Most people wait far too long to stop investing into sin and corruption. Just like you can’t erase years of unhealthy eating, you can’t erase years of sinful seed sowing either.

The battle has a future

But the good news of the gospel is far better than being given a do-over. Jesus is greater than our sin, he’s greater than our pasts, and he’s promised us a future that is bright with biblical hope.

First, we must acknowledge that God’s grace in Jesus Christ is more powerful than decades of sinful sowing to the flesh. Jesus, by the Spirit, raises the dead to life. There is no one who is too far gone from the free offer of the gospel. Our hope is not simply in being cleaned up; our hope is that we have been made new creations who are definitively alive to God in Christ.

But while the new birth does a definitive, eternity-shifting work in our lives, the working out of our sanctification is a much slower and more painful process—and here is where we return to the idea of investing.

The principle of sowing and reaping works both ways. Not only does sowing to the flesh reap corruption, but Paul also goes onto say, “…but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us no grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:8–9).

When you turn from sin to Jesus, you are not only repenting today, but you are also investing into repentance for tomorrow, and next week, and a year from now. Saying “no” to sin today makes it easier to say “no” to sin tomorrow.

But, as Paul warns, we can grow weary of saying “no.” We can feel like giving up at times because we aren’t reaping as much as we expected in the short-term. This is why the battle must be fought through faith in the promises of God that are all “yes” and “amen” in Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 1:20).

If you have just started investing in your retirement fund, you know how futile it feels to make such a slow crawl towards your retirement goals. You faithfully sow paycheck after paycheck into this fund, expecting to see a great return on your investment. In those beginning years, checking your balance might tempt you to cut back on your monthly payments or stop all together and instead save up for a nice vacation next summer. You look at other people who have been investing faithfully for 10 years longer than you have, and you think it’s impossible to ever get to their level—but that is short-sighted thinking. Just as you are called to trust in the promises of your financial advisor (promises that have less-than-perfect guarantees), so we are called all the more to trust in the promises of our heavenly Father!

So when someone asks me, “Does the battle ever get any easier?,” my response is, “Are you ready to invest for the long haul?” While I can’t go into everything that investing entails, I want to highlight a few simple, God-ordained means by which we can sow to the Spirit.

Negatively speaking, we sow to the Spirit by removing all hindrances and sin that weaken our endurance in the race set before us (Hebrews 12:1). The battle won’t get easier if we continue to keep temptation close at hand. No one struggling with alcohol hangs out at the bars, and yet we often do very little to truly cut off access to sexual temptation, especially through technology.

We also sow to the Spirit by acknowledging our weaknesses and making wise arrangements that will helps us in those areas. A weakness may be a time, a place, a circumstance, or an experience. You need to know where you’re weak and plan accordingly. So often we lose the battle because we fail to plan, and we don’t take our failures as opportunities to learn.

Positively, we sow to the Spirit through the ordinary means of grace, including, but not limited to, prayer, the reading of Scripture, hearing the Word preached, and genuine fellowship with believers. It is rare to meet a man ensnared in sexual sin who also has vibrant fellowship with God through daily prayer and Bible reading.

You may have never thought about it this way, but I’m convinced that fighting sexual sin is a “good work.” In fact, I would go so far as to say it is Kingdom work. And when no one else in the world sees or cares about your resistance to temptation, God sees you, along with innumerable angels who fall down in worship before him who is worthy of your obedience, even when it requires great pain and endurance.

If you will faithfully sow into this Kingdom work, not giving Satan a foothold, you will find that the battle gets easier. As my former colleague David White liked to say, “Faithfully sowing to the Spirit makes temptation go from being a lion that will devour you every time to becoming a mosquito in your life. Mosquitos can be annoying and pesky, but they don’t devour you. But if you continue to sow to the flesh, you are feeding the lion.”

Where will you invest your heart and time today? What you do in the present is an investment into your future.

¹David Powlison, “Answers for the Human Condition: Why I Chose Seminary for Training in Counseling,” The Journal of Biblical Counseling, Fall 2001: 49.

Ellen has often heard this phrase from both single and married women, young and old. When life is painful and we are face to face with our expectations crumbling, it’s common to pursue sexual sin—we “sign up for” it, if you will—as a way to avoid the pain of other circumstances. But it’s crucial for us to face life as it really is, with faith-fueled realism rather than a demand that it be something it is not and to trust God when life is not what we expected. Jesus actually chose you and signed you up to share in his life, and Jesus has also appointed, or signed us up, to bear fruit while also intimately sharing in his suffering.

The content in this video was adapted from “I Didn’t Sign Up for This!,” a blog that Ellen wrote for the PCA Women’s enCourage website.

 

Empathetic groans chorused through the group as each person confessed the week’s struggles. “It’s just too difficult,” one complains. “It seems like I get to a point in my lust where I am powerless to resist acting out.” “Yeah,” the man next to him chimes in. “I know exactly how that feels! But the Bible says Jesus does too. He had the same temptations we do!” Everyone knows he is referring to Hebrews 4:15, but a few silently wonder, “Is that what that verse means?”

It is vital that we know Jesus as a sympathetic high priest who “in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.” This is surely a source of great comfort and encouragement. But there is also confusion over these words. Does it mean that Jesus experienced every temptation that I experience? We must deal carefully here in order to confidently claim the encouragement this verse promises. Here are some thoughts:

1. There are senses in which Jesus’ temptation experiences differed from yours.

Difference in particulars. First, let us nuance our understanding by pointing out that there is some difference between Jesus’ experience of temptation and ours. He did not experience the exact same specific temptations that you have. It’s easy to think of particular temptations he did not experience. Jesus was not tempted to wipe his phone to hide his porn from his employer. Jesus never struggled with a compulsion to open an incognito browser on his phone to look at pornography. The point is that Jesus did not share your exact circumstances and, in that sense, did not experience the exact same temptations that you do. This is obvious. So this verse is saying something other than that. In the same way, Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 10:13, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.” He does not mean everyone has shared the exact same temptation events. Have you ever been tempted to melt your jewelry into a golden calf to worship? I didn’t think so.

No, the sympathy that this verse says Jesus has for you does not depend on his sharing your exact circumstances of temptation. You need not imagine him facing your exact temptations—in fact, you ought not do so. This is because of another major difference in his temptations…

Difference in heart inclination. Jesus did not have a sinful nature; we do. We are born with hearts inclined toward sin. And the sinful patterns of thought and feeling generated by our hearts are themselves a major source of temptation for us. Yes, the inclinations and desires of our hearts are both sin and temptation. Do you need a clear example of how something can be both sin and temptation? Consider someone breaking the tenth commandment in his heart, coveting something God has not given. That person is sinning, breaking the tenth commandment. Yet that very sin constitutes the experience of temptation to commit further sin, to steal or commit adultery. Some theologians have found it helpful to describe temptations as being either external to us or internal. The internal temptations are those that are caused by the sinful momentum of our wayward hearts. This momentum meets any temptation coming from outside of us with a willingness by which we both give in to and even pursue sin. Jesus did not have this. His heart was always rightly ordered and steadfast in love of God. He never added his own sinful desires to the temptations that came at him externally, for he had no sinful desires. Remember, he was “yet without sin.”[1]

2. How then do we rightly understand “in every respect tempted as we are?”

In regard to the deepest dynamic. Jesus understands the dynamic of every possible temptation. This is true even though he hasn’t experienced all of the particulars. This is because all sin is an expression of deeper issues of the heart. Every sin, at its deepest level, entails turning from loving, trusting, and worshiping God. This is why Jesus can call loving God the first and greatest commandment. And every sin with reference to other people is a failure to love people as a fitting response to knowing the love of God. Every temptation we experience boils down to these two issues, and every temptation Jesus experienced was the same. He understands the deepest dynamic that characterizes your every temptation.

In regard to the suffering entailed in resisting temptation. But the main point in Jesus’ sympathetic identification with us has reference to the suffering that obedience and resistance to temptation entails. “For it was fitting that he, for whom and by whom all things exist, in bringing many sons to glory, should make the founder of their salvation perfect through suffering” (Hebrews 2:10), and, “For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted” (Hebrews 2:18), and, “Although he was a son, he learned obedience through what he suffered” (Hebrews 5:8). Temptation is a “test” of our willingness to pay the cost of suffering for obedience. Jesus fully experienced just how painful and difficult obedience in the face of temptation can be.

In this regard, the fact that Jesus’ heart was not inclined toward sin makes his experience of the cost of obedience more complete than any of ours. When temptation comes, our inclination is to give in quickly rather than to fully accept the cost of obedience. Not so with Jesus. He was willing to follow through against sin to the fullest extent. He knows how difficult your temptation is, how much it hurts to obey. You can be sure of this because it hurt him more than it has ever hurt any of us. This is why the author can apply this to the encouragement of his readers, saying, “In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood” (Hebrews 12:4). You have not yet felt the full weight, but Jesus has. Even if you are called to bleed and die in order to resist sin, he has been there and is a sympathetic high priest for you.

Jesus is exactly the savior, and the brother, you need in your fight. He does know how difficult this is—and he is able to save because he never sinned.

______________________________________________________________________________________________

[1] You don’t want Jesus to identify so closely with you that he becomes disqualified to be your savior. See John Piper’s expression of this in this article.

You can also watch the video, “How Does a Sinless Savior Help Us Sympathetically?,” which corresponds to this blog.

The book of Hebrews assures us that Jesus is our sympathetic high priest. But how can those who battle with persistent sin struggles make real spiritual use of these assurances? Learn more in this new video from Jim Weidenaar.

To learn more about this topic, consider purchasing one of our resources, such as Hide or Seek: When Men Get Real with God About Sex by John Freeman and How to Say No When Your Body Says Yes by Dan Wilson. When you buy these books from Harvest USA, 100% of your purchase will benefit our ministry.

You can also read the blog, “Jesus Understands Your Temptations,” which corresponds to this video.

Friends, we’ve prayed for you as a staff. We recognize that along with so many unexpected upheavals to schedules, responsibilities, and life dynamics, the unknown future may tempt you to find a particular solution for your anxieties. You won’t find it mentioned in the mainstream media. It’s the temptation to run toward our idols.

Fear, uncertainty, and unwanted change trigger most of us to crave and seek out immediate comfort and relief. Our hearts can go into an inward spin cycle that sends us toward familiar but false saviors that may give temporary relief, yet they will only bruise our souls and enslave our desires. When forced into circumstances in which we feel out of control (and we are!), grabbing for some form of autonomous power seems life-giving. But it isn’t.

RESIST! Remember that Jesus is still the same loving, holy, delivering Lord who is your refuge in the midst of COVID-19-prompted temptations. You may be working from home now without online filters, or hindered in reaching out to your accountability partners, or tempted to reach back out to people who are dangerous to you… to your soul, friendships, marriage, thought-life, and more.

Remember, dear sisters and brothers…

Jesus is still your Rock and Refuge to whom you can cry out today, right now. “Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer; from the ends of the earth; I cry out to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to yourself, Lord, for you alone are the rock that is higher than I, for you have been and are my refuge, a strong tower against my enemies.” (Psalm 61:1–2)

Jesus is still your way of escape when temptations are either fierce or soft and seductive. “Lord God, you are faithful…you won’t allow any temptation to come near to me (even when a pandemic is happening) that isn’t common and for which you won’t be my escape! Help me to cry out to you and trusted others, Lord, and to persevere through these cravings to seek comfort in sinful ways!” (1 Corinthians 10:13–14)

Jesus is still your constant companion in the midst of quarantines and isolation. “Lord, this house, my apartment, my room feels extra lonely; help me, Lord, to believe and know that you are God and that you are with me. God, use this forced retreat from being with people to create an intimate sanctuary for you and me. Help me to abide in you, Lord, to go to your Word and to be nourished with the Bread of Life!” (John 14:23–15:11)

Jesus is still your merciful, compassionate God when fear overwhelms or sin has been pursued. “Jesus, I’m afraid, really scared with what is happening. Help me hear you saying, ‘Take heart dear one, it is I! I’ve not forsaken you. Come to me and find rest for your soul.’ Yes, Lord, help me rest in your compassion. I did pursue sin, Lord; you saw me when I turned from you to sin, back to porn, back to him/her, back to food or alcohol or ______. I name it, Lord, and ask for your strength to stand up, engage the battle again, and walk as your loved son, your loved daughter. Thank you for receiving me with love and grace.” (Mark 6:45–51; Matthew 11:28–30; 1 John 1:5–10; Colossians 3:1–17; Hebrews 4:16–18)

Jesus is with you, friend, and he loves you. He is for you and will not abandon you. Ever.

In order to keep Christ enthroned in your desires, thoughts, and relationships, what do you need to keep saying YES to?

To learn more, read Ellen Dykas’ accompanying blog, Learning to Say Yes and No.

 

All of us face the difficult task of discerning what to say yes and no to. In our ministry at Harvest USA, I have daily opportunities to engage people who need help with their sexuality or gender struggles, or to write, or to encourage a staff member, or to reach out to one of my donors.

When I was in my twenties, Numbers 9:22 popped off the page into my heart and became a guiding verse from Scripture for me.

“Whether it was two days or a month or a year that the cloud lingered over the tabernacle, staying above it, the sons of Israel remained camped and did not set out; but when it lifted, they set out.” (NASB)

This Old Testament version of a spiritual GPS came about in the wilderness wanderings of God’s people. God promised to guide them through manifestations of his presence hovering over the tabernacle as a cloud by day, and a pillar of fire by night (see Numbers 9:15-23 and Psalm 78:14).

Wow, seems so great, right?! Today, this might look like praying about something from the following list, glancing outside to see where the cloud is, and following it wherever it goes.

Lord, that woman seems to need a friend; should I reach out and call her—offer to meet up for coffee, or not? Lord, should I…

    • Start a blog?
    • Make this purchase?
    • Be a small group leader at church?
    • Look for a job that pays more but will be more time-consuming?
    • Talk to my pastor about a concern I have about leadership, or “just” pray?

How do we discern what to say yes to and when we need to say no? In a world of thousands of choices, how do you decide what is the best way to spend your precious, limited resources of time, emotional energy, relational capacity, finances, and physical strength? Consider how the use of your time also factors into becoming a man or woman of sexual integrity.

Our Daily Yes

Thirty years later, the principle of Numbers 9:22 continues to keep my heart oriented to the big picture of being a Christian, and this is what we need to remember when it comes to stewarding our sexuality. Our lives belong to Christ and this gives us the most foundational YES we live out: Lord, wherever you lead, however you lead, I will follow you and do what you ask of me, keeping my eyes on you and throwing off distractions (see Hebrews 12:1-3).

Christ clearly and lovingly commands his followers to a life characterized by heart commitments: to die to self, take up our cross and follow him, love him and his commands, teach the gospel to others, be holy, set our hearts on things above, throw off sin and distractions, enter into and receive his rest (Luke 9:23; John 15:1-10; Matthew 28:18-20; Colossians 3:1-4; Hebrews 12:1-3; 4:9-10; 1 Peter 1:13). And that’s just for starters!

Simply put, our daily yes to these things is lived out through loving obedience and submission to our Lord Jesus Christ. Whatever promotes, encourages, helps, and nurtures that obedience, we say YES to. Whatever distracts, tempts, or weakens us from living a Christ-centered life, we say NO to.  The gospel’s trajectory of transformation in our lives is a process of increasing yeses to obedience and decreasing noes to disobedience.

Wisdom for Gray Areas

But, you ask: OK, that sounds great, but what do I do about practical decisions where the Bible doesn’t give a clear-cut answer? The last time I checked, there weren’t any pillars of fire hovering over my home!

Let me unpack some biblical guidelines that help me.

    1. What’s the motive of your heart in the issue at hand? Will it help you resist temptation or will it lead you to give in? (Proverbs 3:5-6)
    2. As best you can discern, what will you reap from this decision? (Romans 8:5-8, Galatians 6:7-9)
    3. Consider the trajectory of God’s work in your life. Does this decision seem to be in sync with him or not? (Ephesians 2:10, Philippians 2:13)
    4. What do the mature and wise-in-Christ people in your life say about it? (Proverbs 11:14, 15:22; Titus 2:1-15)

God continues to use Numbers 9:22 to orient my heart and vocational decisions as I’ve committed to going where he wants me to go, do what he wants me to do, and to leave where/when/who he calls me to leave. In a beautifully intimate way, all believers have the Spirit to guide and protect us in our desire to live faithful lives as relational and sexual beings.

The life of faith has not always been easy or comfortable, but I’m deeply thankful for God’s kindness in leading me, year after year, and for the wisdom he’s given me in decision making. My Christian life is imperfect, but the more I taste the spacious freedom of obedience and faith, the less I’m tempted to give way to an unholy or foolish YES or NO!


To learn more, watch Ellen’s accompanying video, The Importance of Saying Yes to Jesus.


1 2 3 4 5

Stay up to date

Copyright 2021, All Rights Reserved. Developed for HarvestUSA by Polymath Innovations.