The Heart of Harvest USA

Dave White, Men’s Ministry Coordinator:
It’s a tremendous challenge for men to seek help at Harvest USA. Many have described it as taking the walk of shame.

Chris Torchia, Parents’ Ministry:
After 30 years of keeping this in the dark, he was almost paralyzed with fear, because I was the first person he’d opened up to about his struggle.

Ellen Dykas, Women’s Ministry Coordinator:
After she confessed to me her struggle with pornography and other sexual sins, this dear young woman burst into tears. These secret struggles that she’d kept hidden for so long were finally out in the light.

[Title on screen] The Heart of Harvest USA

Tim Geiger, Harvest USA President:
It’s never easy for people to walk through our doors at Harvest USA. Living in the isolation of guilt and shame is difficult to break out of. Through our direct ministry to men, women, wives, and parents, we minister to over 800 people a year, and we point them to freedom in Christ, to transparency in Christian community, and to God’s kindness, which leads to our repentance.

Dave White, Men’s Ministry Coordinator:
Most men coming to Harvest live isolated, defeated lives. They feel powerless to combat their sexual sin, and they don’t know the blessing of community or joy in their relationship with God. The men’s ministry enables them to experience the power of the gospel and connects them to other men in real ways.

Anna Carini, Women’s Ministry:
In meeting with wives who have experienced sexual betrayal, it’s always amazing to me to hear that through their suffering and experience, they understand so much better how we all betray Christ and yet still receive his forgiveness.

Chris Torchia, Parents’ Ministry:
Parents from all over the country are hearing from their son or daughter that they identify as gay. Here we have the unique privilege of caring for hurting parents who are wrestling with this, finding that the promises of God are relevant and true, giving support and hope in their time of need.

Jeffrey Minnis, Front Desk:
Direct, in-the-moment prayer is an important part of Harvest’s work. Often I’ll have a parent calling in, in tears, and pray over the phone, and then to see how God used that prayer to calm the caller. It’s an amazing blessing.

Ellen Dykas, Women’s Ministry Coordinator:
Women of all ages contact our women’s ministry team, sharing with us what we consider to be the very fine china of their hearts: struggles with sexual sin or relational sins that they’ve never talked about with anybody. It’s a joy and it’s a privilege for us to bring the hope of Jesus to these hurting women.

Bob Heywood, Men’s Ministry:
One of the privileges that I have working at Harvest USA, and one of the ways that I see God use me, is being able to go eyeball to eyeball with men who know that they’re sinners and know that their behavior has messed up their lives, and be able to tell them Jesus loves them.

Ministry participant:
By using the Word of God, Harvest has better helped me to be equipped to fight my sin and understand my sin.

Ministry participant:
While I know that there’s a stigma that’s attached to the sin, or the sins, that brought us all here, our sins are washed just as white as snow as anybody else’s sins. And that’s amazing to me.

Ministry participant:
Harvest USA’s women’s ministry guided me in my understanding of God’s design for sexuality. This ministry provided me with the tools in bringing about my healing and restoration for my life through the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Ministry participant:
I came to Harvest after losing everything because of my sin, but instead of finding condemnation and rejection, I really found a spiritual and emotional shelter that made it possible for me to be open and honest about my sin for the very first time.

Tim Geiger, Harvest USA President:
We believe that ministering the grace of Jesus Christ to those impacted by sexual struggles and sin is a role that belongs to the church. And so we now engage in over 300 teaching and equipping events every year. More and more churches realize they can’t stay silent on these issues any longer, and so we’re excited to equip pastors, church leaders, and congregations in this vital area of ministry.

Irene Maguire, Administrative Manager:
In overseeing our website, I see more and more people reaching out to Harvest USA, not just here in the US but throughout the world. And this shows us the importance of our work here at Harvest USA and our need to continue it.

Dan Wilson, The Student Outreach:
What I love about the student outreach is to see parents and youth workers get that talking about sex and sexuality is really about sharing the gospel and applying the gospel to all their kids’ and students’ lives.

Cooper Pinson, The Student Outreach:
What he said.

Nicholas Black, Resources Director:
I oversee what we teach and what we say, from our seminars to our blogs. Our passion is to see the gospel shape people’s lives so they might live the life that God has called us to live.

John Freeman, Founder, Ministry Liaison:
As the founder of Harvest USA, I’ve had many duties over the years. Today, however, I focus on teaching and resource development, but primarily nurturing relationships with pastors and with our ministry partners, helping them see how their giving and participation really is an investment in eternity, because it’s a gospel investment in hearts and lives.

Tim Geiger, Harvest USA President:
Proclaiming the majesty, power, and new life of Jesus Christ to people who have been beaten down by sexual sin. That’s the heart of Harvest USA.

Over the years, I’ve learned many important truths that husbands need to know about humbly, patiently, and sacrificially walking alongside their wives through a long process of healing and reconciliation.

If you are a husband watching this video and your wife is currently experiencing profound broken trust, betrayal, and the trauma of her life crumbling around her, my prayer is that these recommendations will be used by the Holy Spirit to guide you and bless you as you seek to be the husband God is calling you to be in this excruciating season of your marriage.

First, if you were caught in your sin and have yet to disclose the full extent of your sexual sin, then you are leaving your wife in a place of unrelenting questioning and doubt about what is actually true. A full disclosure involves sharing the full extent of your sin, but not every nitty-gritty, graphic detail. If you have yet to do this, beware of the desire to slowly confess your sin over weeks and months, giving more and more information each time. That slow trickle of confession creates more damage, not less. You’ll be conditioning your wife to believe that there will always be more that you haven’t shared. Make a full disclosure at one time, being prepared to share everything and assuring your wife that, to the best of your knowledge, you have told her everything.

Second, you need to recognize that you are on a very different timetable from your wife. If you have kept your sexual sin a secret for decades and now it is in the light, you might be experiencing powerful relief and freedom from no longer having to hide it. If you are actively getting help from others, you might be in an unparalleled season of hope and strength in your battle against lust and temptation, with many brothers cheering you on. However, the lifting of your own burden meant placing a new burden on your wife. You are experiencing a season of light while she has been thrust into a dark pit. This will be a long process of healing for your wife. If you are growing frustrated or tired with how long your wife’s recovery is taking, I encourage you to consider how long you have been struggling with sexual sin. Give your wife the same grace in her battle that you have been shown in yours.

Third, encourage your wife, but don’t force her, to seek support from others she feels are safe to confide in. Those people might be close friends of the family or people you regularly see at church. You might not want her to share with them, but she needs them. And Jesus is calling you to die to your pride and allow your sin to be revealed to others so that you rest fully on the imputed righteousness of Christ alone.

Fourth, your wife can be triggered in her struggles with doubt, unforgiveness, and anger, just as you can be triggered toward your own sins. You may be five years into your repentance and reconciliation, but certain experiences can trigger a flashback that sends your wife right back to the fear of your initial confession. It might be the time of year, a particular place, a person’s mannerisms, or anything else that reminds her of your sin. Don’t assume that your wife being suspicious or doubting your trustworthiness, even after several years, shows a lack of progress in her healing.

Lastly, fight to desire your wife’s healing more than your own comfort. True healing will be painful. It will require many hard conversations. You will need to love her in very intentional, thoughtful, and discerning ways. And you need to persevere in that love, even when your efforts don’t seem to make a difference.

This is a season in which Jesus is teaching you what it means to love sacrificially with no expectations of reciprocity. And the only way you will be able to love that way is to receive that love from Christ himself. Your wife needs the love of Jesus, and he graciously gives you a role as a conduit of his love to her.