Illicit Sex and Death: An Embodied Chaos, a Warning, and a Plea for Repentance

Tension rises within my heart as I consider the relationship between illicit sex and death. Like a lost beggar whose every waking hour is full of suffering, illicit sex and death are close companions. The laws of our country understand this reality: certain categories of illicit sex, defined as criminal offenses, reveal the kind of death it can cause (18 U.S.C. § 2421–2429). The gospel is no different in its posture toward sexual acts outside of God’s creation order (Gen. 1:28, 2:24–25; 1 Cor. 6:18, 7:2–4; Eph. 5:31–32; Col. 3:5; Heb. 13:4). We see that the consequence of illicit sex, like all sin, is death. Yet still, we often blindly continue in sin, or, as teachers and helpers, neglect to take sin as seriously as we should.

This article seeks to express the chaos and death of illicit sex. I offer a warning and a plea for repentance. May believers grieve as they read, even while being encouraged to find hope in our Lord, Jesus Christ. He willingly chose to enter our chaos, despite how broken we are, so that we may have fulness of life in him.

Illicit Sex and Embodied Chaos

Illicit sex and death thrive together and feed off of each other. Yet, despite their connection, it can be difficult to perceive death’s nearness to such sins, especially in light of how the “heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick” (Jer. 17:9).

Sexual sin can conceal the spiritual damage it causes. Illicit sex produces callousness that blinds people and hides the true harm being done. This embodied chaos brings spiritual decay (Prov. 16:18; Isa. 59:2; Rom. 8:5–8; 2 Cor. 4:4; Rev. 3:17), whereby “the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh” (Gal. 5:17). It forgets that “flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable (1 Cor. 15:50).”

How so? The fleeting rush of pleasure erupting from the flesh can feel immediate and tangible, often more real than any perceived danger to the soul. What feels good does not easily register as harmful. Even when we recognize something as sinful, such as pornography use or solo-sex, we may still engage in it without fully reckoning with the cost. It may seem harmless at first, yet over time it brings deep ruin to one’s body and spirit. As Scripture warns, “your evil will chastise you, and your apostasy will reprove you. Know and see that it is evil and bitter for you to forsake the Lord your God; the fear of me is not in you, declares the Lord God of hosts” (Jer. 2:19). Thus, the internal chaos of spiritual decay will eventually be revealed in one’s demise.

Death Hides Behind Masks and Deception

Illicit sex includes prostitution, adultery, incest, and the wicked violence of rape. We easily recognize the weight of evil in these terms. Only callous, hard hearts—“who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth”—would deny it (Rom. 1:18). Yet because old affections are “corrupt through deceitful desires” (Eph. 4:22), sin can cast a veneer of peace over what is truly happening—namely, death and dying.

The reality of death, though often hidden, leaves spiritual scars concealed beneath the surface by pride and fleshly desires (Prov. 16:5, 18, 21:4; 1 John 2:16). Most disturbingly, the idols we cultivate lead us to abandon gospel truth each time we sin. The whole person suffers as a result, hiding behind masks that conceal the “old” self, while death and dying quietly advance. We are called to put off the old and put on the new self, “created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness” (Eph. 4:22–24). Yet the old self whispers familiar lies: that we can live apart from God, that “good ol’ me” is enough. This illusion of autonomy promises satisfaction but produces nothing of eternal value.

The Painful Necessity of Facing Truth

I have the blessing and burden to walk alongside those who engage in illicit sex. I plead, exhort, and rebuke people by asking them to look honestly at the trail of death their sin caused before considering next steps. This serves as a discipleship tool, redirecting focus from immediate circumstances to sincere reflection before God.

As masks begin to fall, deeper wounds are revealed. These wounds have long shaped a person’s posture toward both faith and sin. There are many layers of deception that need to be removed, particularly as defenses rise and former veneers of peace collapse.

These hurting lives demonstrate that the “penalty of deception is to become a deception . . . A man who lies habitually becomes a lie, and it is increasingly impossible for him to know when he is lying and when he is not.”^[1] This is why a gentle, faithful confrontation is so necessary here as we refocus on God and understand the impact of sin on our vertical and horizontal relationships with God and people.

Yet even here, resistance often emerges. When comfort is challenged and consequences are faced, there can be a subtle dismissal of death and dying. Instead of deeper repentance, there may be avoidance, shifting focus away from sin toward solutions that leave the sin untouched.

In our Harvest USA support groups, I’ve observed these “negotiation moments” that happen when men are called to take concrete steps to distance themselves from sin, thus “mak[ing] no provision for the flesh” (Rom. 13:14) and “giv[ing] no opportunity to the devil” (Eph. 4:27). These are not merely behavioral strategies, but discipleship tools meant to help the struggler consider what it means to have Christ rule their heart, including practical steps like switching to a dumb phone, removing social media, distancing from certain relationships or environments, or cutting off triggers. Though theoretically simple, these can be extremely difficult to implement when controlling desires like love, comfort, control, intimacy, security, or escape from pain have developed apart from God and are now being confronted.

Some people receive such counsel with humility. Others resist, viewing these steps as too extreme or unnecessary, and leave the highway to sin wide open. Whether due to perceived loss or avoidance of consequences, their controlling desires can overshadow the urgency of repentance.

How the Lord Is Forsaken

The deeper issue here is the habitual separation of spiritual and physical realities. We may confess spiritual truth with our lips while living physically contrary to it (cf. James 3:8–10). And it’s not difficult to identify the reason why. Scripture’s warning remains: “Be appalled, O heavens, at this; be shocked, be utterly desolate, declares the Lord, for my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns . . . broken cisterns that can hold no water” (Jer. 2:12–13).

Our culture intensifies this struggle. In a hypersexualized world, sex is often reduced to physical desire and stripped of its creational and covenantal language that highlights the spiritual reality. Instead of reflecting Christ’s love for the Church, sex becomes a distorted imitation rooted in selfish gratification and consumable lust.

Even more concerning is when grace is preached without a call to repentance. This is not to oppose grace, but to heed Paul’s question: “What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound?” (Rom. 6:1). These warnings may sound repetitive, yet they are necessary. Illicit sex brings death to oneself and to others; such is the consequence of sin (Gen. 3:8–10; Eze. 18:4; Rom. 5:12, 6:23; James 1:15; Rev. 21:8). But many still stumble and fall without realizing how death and dying has been reaped out of the sown sin.

A Warning and Plea for Repentance

If, as a teacher or counselor, you’re hesitant to face the reality of death that follows illicit sex, remember that one day many will stand before the judgement seat of Christ crying out loud, “‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name…?’ And then [he will] declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness’” (Matt. 7:22–23).

I am fearful that teachers like me will be judged more strictly (James 3:1). If every careless word is brought into judgment (Matt. 12:36), how much more are the words that shape others’ understanding of God? Oh, Lord, mercy, have mercy upon my soul.

The cost of neglecting these matters is great. We need reminders about the deadly peril of sin; “men more frequently require to be reminded than informed.”^[2]

Beloved, we know the Lord, and the Lord knows us by name (Ex. 33:17; Ps. 139:1; Isa. 43:1, 49:16; John 10:3, 14:18). We have the gospel and believe in Christ’s work (2 Cor. 4:1–6). “And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires” (Gal. 5:24). Therefore, let us live in a manner worthy of the gospel (Phil. 1:27), for there is urgency for divine glory (Ex. 14:15; Luke 9:59–62, 19:40; Rom. 8:18; 1 Cor. 10:31; 2 Cor. 6:2; Titus 2).

There is no time to delay. Our children need faithful teachers of God’s Word now. Marriages need repentance that walk in the light now. The church needs confidence in Christ now. If the Spirit dwells in us and Scripture is proclaimed in season and out of season, then we have all we need for doxology—worship. These are urgent matters that demand God’s glory. Any alternative will miss that the goal of life and ministry is “God Himself, not joy, nor peace; not even blessing, but Himself, [our] God. ‘Tis His to lead [us] there, not [ours], but His―At any cost, dear Lord, by any road.”^[3] It is from this place that I write this plea with deep concern and tears.

Christ Defeats Death

Beloved brothers and sisters, where is your heart in this? Let us not forget our mortality (Ps. 90:9–10). We are “prone to wander . . . prone to leave the God [we] love.” Let us bring our heart to God; may he “take and seal it for his courts above” where there are “streams of mercy, never ceasing” and “songs of loudest praise.” May we learn “melodious sonnets sung by flaming tongues above,” and “praise the mount we’re fixed upon, mount of God’s unchanging love.” His help is sure even when we doubt, because . . .

Jesus sought [us] when a stranger, wandering from the fold of God. He, to rescue [us] from danger, interposed his precious blood. . . . O to grace how great a debtor daily [we’re] constrained to be! Let that grace now, like a fetter, bind [our] wandering heart to thee.^[4]

Oh, beloved, whether in service to those who struggle or as a struggler yourself, “repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out” (Acts 3:19), “for the kingdom of heaven is at hand” (Matt. 3:2, 4:17; Mark 1:15). Do not lose heart. Let us fix our gaze on Christ (Heb. 12:2). His eyes are upon those who walk in his ways (Ps. 11:4–7, 34:15, 101:6) and his steadfast love endures forever (Ps. 136).

“Therefore, my brothers and sisters, whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm thus in the Lord, my beloved” (Phil. 4:1).

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^[1] Diane M. Langberg, Redeeming Power: Understanding Authority and Abuse in the Church (Brazos Press, 2020), 35, quoting Howard Thurman, Jesus and the Disinherited (Beacon, 1976), 55.

^[2] Samuel Johnson, The Rambler (London: J. Payne and J. Bouquet, Periodical Vol. 1, No. 2, March 24, 1750), 18.

^[3] Sinclair B. Ferguson, A Heart for God (Colorado Springs, Colorado: NavPress, 1985), 176.

^[4] Robert Robinson, “Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing” (Glory to God: The Presbyterian Hymnal, 2003), hymnary.org, accessed March 24, 2026.