The Sweet Comfort of the Sovereignty of God

One of my favorite Scripture passages is at the end of Genesis, when Joseph says to his brothers, “Do not fear: for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today” (50:19, 20). This is a beautiful picture of Joseph finding sweet hope and comfort in the sovereignty of God despite great suffering.

Commenting on this passage, John Calvin writes, “Thus we see that the justice of God shines brightly in the midst of the darkness of our iniquity.” If anyone had cause for bitterness, some might say Joseph certainly did. His brothers sold him into slavery and then conspired to lead their father to believe that a beast had devoured his youngest beloved son. Not only this, but Joseph suffered further persecutions at the hand of Potiphar’s wife when Joseph refused her advances, and she falsely accused him and had him thrown into prison by her husband (ch. 39). Then, to add insult to injury, Joseph sat in prison for years, forgotten by Pharaoh’s butler after Joseph had interpreted his dream. Why was Joseph able to say to his brothers, after suffering all these things, that God meant it for good? I believe it is because Joseph had a deep, abiding sense of God’s presence with him and that God was superintending everything in his life, even seemingly bad things, for his good.

Why Is Understanding God’s Sovereignty So Critical?

The first counseling course I took for certification as a biblical counselor at the Christian Counseling and Education Foundation (CCEF) was The Dynamics of Biblical Change taught by the late David Powlison. I remember Dr. Powlison instructing us with much wisdom on how to walk alongside fellow sufferers in humility and love. His words—that God is in suffering for good in the life of the believer—have been called to remembrance over and over again the last few years as I’ve walked alongside struggling Christian parents of children who identify as LGBTQ+ in my work at Harvest USA. My colleague, Joan McConnell, and I are convinced that helping to ground parents in a few basic theological truths is essential to surviving this “dangerous journey” with children caught up in LGBTQ+ ideology. You might even say that an understanding and apprehension of God’s sovereignty sits at the top of the list of those basics. 

Why is understanding God’s sovereignty in providence so critical to this journey for parents?  Because, when a parent learns that their beloved son or daughter is caught up in an LGBTQ+ identity, they realize that the journey they’re on may be long and hard. They also experience a deep sorrow, perhaps the deepest sorrow they have ever known, as they often see drastic changes in their child and in their relationship with their child. This kind of sorrow can shake parents to their core and lead to real despair. They feel like David, after losing a close friendship, when he expressed in Psalm 55:14, “We took sweet counsel together, and walked unto the house of God in company.”

These Christian parents went to great pains to nurture their children in the Lord and worship the Lord with them. They often tell us of how their child was so sweet, kind, and loving to them before their gender and sexuality confusion. They tell us about how, once their child adopted an LGBTQ+ identity, distance, shallowness, and an often-agonizing estrangement developed in a relationship that was once very close. Not only that but add the outward physical changes in their son or daughter if they are trans-identifying, and it feels as if it’s almost too much to bear.

How do they bear this pain? Only by drawing near to God, by availing themselves of the means of grace—prayer, reading the Word, and fellowship with other sufferers—can they make their way through this unnerving maze. As I’ve served in this position at Harvest USA over the last few years, I’ve only become more convinced that understanding God’s sovereignty in all of life is the only way to make sense of this kind of suffering.

The Sovereignty of God Is His People’s Strength

Another passage which I think is helpful to parents as they seek to fortify themselves with the knowledge of God’s being with them and for them in this struggle is 1 Samuel 30:1–6. I often share this passage with parents when we meet in our parent support groups online. In this passage, David and his military men and their families have been given the city of Ziklag by Achish, the son of the king of the Philistines. When David and his men return from being available to help the Philistines on the field of battle, they arrive in Ziklag to find it burned with fire to the ground, and their wives and children are nowhere to be found. It says in verse 4, “David and the people that were with him raised their voices and wept until they had no more strength to weep.”  Verse 6 says the men spoke of stoning David “because all the people were bitter in soul, each for his sons and daughters.” I can tell you this is exactly how parents feel when they see their children swept away by LGBTQ+ ideology. They weep like they have never wept. They deeply grieve for their children who are lost in the far country. I think the key in this passage for David in bearing up under such pain and grief is found in verse 6b: “But (emphasis mine) David strengthened himself in the Lord his God.” 

Somehow, amid overwhelming grief and anguish, David turned to the only place he could for help: he turned to the Lord his God. He knew if there was any help to be found, it was in his God. He knew if there was any way to redeem this seemingly hopeless situation, it was through the working of almighty God who can redeem even the most hopeless of circumstances. Beyond tangible help in the present crisis, I would go so far as to say that David also longed for peace and comfort; he knew that the Lord was his shepherd and could alone provide that comfort and peace.

Surely it was the knowledge that God had ordained these circumstances, that he was in them all for good, and that he would in time show himself mighty that kept David from total despair. God’s sovereignty kept him from giving up and caving to the mental and emotional anguish. This knowledge of God, his care for his people, and his sovereign working in all that comes to pass—the positive and the negative—is critical to enduring the experience of having a prodigal child and all that comes with it.

God’s Sovereignty, Our Curriculum, and Our Comfort

We often tell parents that this circumstance with their child is as much God’s curriculum for them as it is their child’s. In other words, this is not just about their child and their child’s sin, but it’s about them and their relationship with God.

There’s nothing like a prodigal child to reveal our thoughts as parents concerning God. Do we trust him, even with our most precious and beloved children? Do we believe that he will do what is right with regard to them and us?  This is no mere health, wealth, and prosperity gospel thinking. We do not bury our head in the sand and glibly quote Romans 8:28. We don’t know exactly how it will all turn out, but we do know that our God is good, and all his ways are perfect. We know that he is in control, not us, and that we cannot fix this but must acquiesce to his sovereign will. 

The song “Sovereign Over Us”^[1] speaks into this suffering and shows where we find strength:

There is strength within the sorrow, there is beauty in our tears.

And you meet us in our mourning with a love that casts out fear.

You are working in our waiting, you’re sanctifying us.

When beyond our understanding, you’re teaching us to trust.

Your plans are still to prosper; you have not forgotten us; you’re with us in the fire and the flood.

You’re faithful forever, perfect in love; you are sovereign over us.

Even what the enemy means for evil, you turn it for our good,

You turn it for our good and for your glory.

Even in the valley you are faithful; you’re working for our good,

You’re working for our good and for your glory.

Dear parent of a prodigal, may sweet comfort yet fill your heart as you meditate on who your Sovereign God is, and who you are in Christ. May you rest in God’s sovereignty and care even though this cup you are drinking is bitter. May you know his peace as you, like David, encourage yourself in the Lord your God, who cares so deeply for you.

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^[1] “Sovereign Over Us,” written by Aaron Keyes, 2013, performed by Michael W. Smith and Charity Gayle