Should Christians Use Contraception?

Does God care about whether a married couple uses birth control or contraception? Is the possibility of creating life a necessary component of God-glorifying sex? Should Christians use contraception?

From the outset, we need to acknowledge that these are complex issues that have deep theological and practical implications. To help us think biblically and practically, I’ll present three questions that, as a married couple or someone considering marriage, you can use to prayerfully discern the Lord’s calling for you.

Question 1: What Is the Purpose of Sex?

Should Christians use contraception? To consider that question, we need to understand why God created sex. Sex is an act of love that celebrates, strengthens, and consummates the covenant union of husband and wife. There is a direct relational good that is the fruit of sexual intimacy. Sex should result in strengthened bonds, intimacy, trust, and fidelity.

All these benefits of sex within marriage reveal to us God’s heart in relationship to his people. They reveal the fidelity, union, and love that Christ shares with his bride, the church. Clearly, God intended sex to be a blessing and source of strength for marriages.

But we also see in Scripture that God intended sex to result in the creation of new life. The very first command God gives to humanity is to “be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it” (Gen. 1:28). God did not create our vast planet for Adam and Eve to live in isolation. He commanded them to fill this earth with image bearers who would reflect and extend God’s glory, reign, and beauty through taking dominion as his vice-regents. Adam and Eve could not fulfill this mandate on their own; it would require billions of people.

God designed that the most profound connection two human beings can know could result in new life.

God wove procreation into the very nature of human sexuality. He created men with the necessary parts to produce the seed and women with the necessary parts to receive the seed—and together, to produce life! God designed that the most profound connection two human beings can know could result in new life.

In Malachi 2:15, we hear God’s heart for married couples when he says, “Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring.” One could argue that the primary way the Lord fills his Kingdom with worshippers is through Christian parents conceiving and raising godly offspring. So, God has a two-fold purpose for sex: the celebration, strengthening, and consummation of the marital union of love, and the creation of godly offspring.

Question 2: How Should We Think about Procreation in a Fallen World?

However, the sin, suffering, and brokenness of the fall impacts God’s two-fold purpose in sex. In a fallen world, sex is often a painful, isolating experience that can create distance and be a source of conflict in marriages. Sex is not a guaranteed relational blessing, and neither is procreation.

Many couples desire children but struggle with infertility. This is often the deepest source of pain in their lives. Experiencing at least one miscarriage seems to be the norm rather than the exception. If you see a couple without children, don’t assume that was by choice. Many of these couples not only wrestle with deep loss, longings, and pain, but they also must navigate the expectations and assumptions of others.

If you have children, you have an opportunity to enfold these couples into your families so that they too know the blessing of having an impact on the next generation. The church should be the premiere example of one large family, where all members can experience intergenerational blessings.

Infertility struggles are a major factor in the global crisis of lowering birth rates. The United States’ current birth rate is around 1.6, well below the replacement rate of 2.1. Many factors contribute to this crisis, including people increasingly delaying marriage and so having a smaller window of fertility as a couple.

There is also the increasing expectation that children are liabilities as opposed to assets in a family . . . contraception feels essential to many (if not most) marriages today.

There is also the increasing expectation that children are liabilities as opposed to assets in a family. Many young couples are saddled with mountains of student debt and struggle to find gainful employment. The average age of first-time home buyers reached 38 years old this year. Young families with no assets and increased living costs struggle to see how they could afford children.

To make matters worse, most of these young couples have grown up with social media and have been conditioned to expect a certain quality of life that includes a new car, lavish vacations, and all the latest tech. They’ve been taught that your twenties is the time to experience as much as you can in this life. This applies not only to travel, but also career success. For many, having children would mean foregoing—or at least greatly delaying—their career aspirations.

Modern, western societies are not conducive to having children. For a couple to prioritize children, they must make decisions that cut against the grain and would be seen by many as risky, foolish, or settling for something much less than they could achieve. All these factors make contraception feel essential to many (if not most) marriages today.

But in every society, at every time since the fall, having children has been difficult. In Genesis 3:16, God said to the woman, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children.” Child-bearing and child-rearing in a fallen world are painful. While the Bible’s testimony is unwavering that children are a blessing from God, it’s sobering to remember just how much the curse has impacted families. To thoroughly consider whether Christians should use contraception, we need to remember the big picture of God’s intent for sex and the impact of the fall on sex and childbirth.

Question 3: Is Contraception Sinful?

There is no doubt that modern contraceptive technologies have enabled many to separate sex from procreation. Contraception is often seen as the norm for sexual activity today, and non-contraceptive sex as the exception. This trend can tempt Christians to believe that we are the ultimate determining factor in when new life is created; it also allows married couples to choose to remain childless.

We must think carefully when considering the separation of the unitive and procreative aspects of sex. God put these together for good reasons. For couples who are still fertile and not hindered by some kind of disability that prohibits having children, it’s hard to think of God-honoring reasons for a couple to choose to never try to have children. Usually, their reasoning falls into the categories of selfishness or ungodly fear. Even when a couple might say they’re foregoing children for the sake of the Kingdom, this still usually assumes a small view of God and his ability to provide.

But should Christians use contraception? Is there ever a wise, God-honoring time for Christians to practice birth control using contraceptives? Would it be acceptable for a couple in their early twenties to wait to have children until they’re more established? Is it right to ever limit the number of children in your family to provide sufficiently for them?

I believe that, if a couple is open to having children, it is not sinful to use contraception during certain seasons.

Catholic doctrine believes that “natural family planning”—timing intercourse around a woman’s fertility cycle—is the only God-approved method of birth control. Catholics affirm that certain seasons may not be the best time for bringing another child into the family, but that any disruption of God’s original design for intercourse is sinful. This includes using condoms or diaphragms, or any intentional male ejaculation that does not occur inside the vagina. This also includes contraception through the pill.

At the crux of the debate is not the question of whether it’s right to exercise wisdom regarding the timing and number of children a couple has—this is generally accepted among all Christians—but how to prevent conception. Catholics believe the only God-sanctioned method of birth control is to use God’s created timing of a woman’s fertility cycle, because he is the giver of life. Protestants are more comfortable with allowing technological advances to aid our practice of discernment while almost guaranteeing pregnancies do not occur if a woman is at high risk for medical complications.

I believe that, if a couple is open to having children, it is not sinful to use contraception during certain seasons. The fact that God created women to only be fertile for a brief window of time each month shows that there are other good reasons to have sex besides having children. With many things in creation, God gives the blueprints for his image-bearers to build upon them. God also requires wisdom and discernment about our ability to care for our families, and many couples would be unable to provide the adequate time and resources for more children than they already have. But couples should not engage in any form of contraception that is abortifacient (meaning it causes the destruction of an already formed offspring).

So, Should Christians Use Contraception?

In summary, I believe the church has a unique opportunity to show the modern world that children are a heritage from the Lord, and blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them (Ps. 127:3, 5)! Having children is telling the world what we believe about God’s design for marriage and sex. But God also expects us to exercise wisdom and discernment, and to care for couples who suffer the pain of infertility and miscarriage.

The question “should Christians use contraception?” becomes more clear when marriages are anchored in Christ, honoring his design for sex, and resting in his provision. If you’re considering using contraception, pray that God will give you wisdom. Pray for hearts that trust him and willingly receive all good things from his hands—including, if the Lord wills, the blessing of children.