Remaining Faithful When Others Embrace LGBTQ+ Theology

The parents sitting before me had tears streaming down their faces. They knew the importance of remaining faithful, but their 22-year-old daughter was now married to another woman. These Christian parents experienced understandable grief and heartache.

“It’s not just the pain over our daughter that’s so difficult—it’s the fact that grandparents and many of our friends have embraced it all. They all see us as the problem; we’re what’s wrong in the whole situation.” Though they believed that God’s Word was their guiding principle, they feared that they, too, might cave under the mounting pressure.

Help for Remaining Faithful in Truth and Mercy

This couples’ fear is not unusual when facing these kinds of challenges. Siblings, grandparents, and friends of someone who identifies as LGBTQ+ or adopts LGBTQ+ theology all face similar trials in remaining faithful when they’re called to reflect both the truth and mercy of the gospel. How do we walk through this minefield, pursue humility in our hearts, and yet stand firm on God’s Word? Here are a few things to consider.

Expect Misunderstanding and Persecution

Our culture’s man-centered theology is based on the heart’s desires, where there are no absolutes and everything is relative. When we take a contrary position, we become a threat and affront to others. Nowhere is this more evident today than in the debate about sexuality and the Bible. Believing that God speaks clearly and authoritatively about sex and sexuality is supposedly bigoted, unloving, and socially incorrect. In remaining faithful, you may be viewed as the problem or the enemy. Don’t let that shipwreck you! Expecting these responses and believing in Scripture’s reliability guards you from dismay when people react against your lack of approval or enthusiasm.

Engage and Ask Good Questions

As others voice their disagreement with you, realize that all worldviews—how people see themselves, the world, and God—stem from past experiences, wounds, and powerful emotions wrapped around sinful and twisted hearts. While we cannot correct others’ views and convictions (this is the work of the Holy Spirit), we can try to better understand them by diving into their story, who they are, and why they believe what they do. This usually happens through genuine listening and asking good questions, which often helps people drop their defenses and leads to more productive, non-combative conversations.

Consider sharing your testimony, particularly highlighting your need for God’s grace. Admittedly, being able to do this is a supernatural work, especially when it comes to our families. Emotions can run high and quickly escalate. But taking initiative in conversations like this can actually strengthen your faith and make you feel less defensive yourself. 

Embrace the Pain of Being Seen as the Bad Guy

Even though you may sincerely attempt the first two points, you’ll likely still experience real, ongoing pain and heartache in remaining faithful. When we see family or friends pursuing a destructive path contrary to God’s will and his Word, we often feel powerless and hopeless. I’ve found that many Christians who eventually adopt a permissive mentality and begin to affirm LGBTQ+ lifestyles usually do so because they feel worn down and want to be thought well of by others. You may feel like you are alone in a desert, barely holding your own as you cling to God’s Word—but know that Jesus is with you. He, too, was in those desert places as he obeyed the Father and stood on Scripture.

Remember These Are Spiritual Issues

Ephesians chapter six reminds us that there are often behind-the-scenes forces that are invested in keeping those we love in confusion and error. Ultimately, only God can address the spiritual issues of blindness and rebellion. If you constantly feel pressured to change others’ views or make them see the light, you will likely end up frustrated and perhaps even begin to question your own beliefs.

Those who walk in blindness need what Tim Keller calls a “self quake” and a “God quake.”¹ God is the one who must intervene to change hearts. Can you relinquish (not abandon) your family, friends, or loved ones to the Lord? Can you trust God to write his story in their hearts and lives in his way . . . and in his timing? The gospel is the greatest need for those who pursue sexuality on their own terms and those who agree with them and buy into worldly sexuality.

Bathe Everything in Prayer

Pray for those who disagree with you. This is pretty self-explanatory! Prayer both softens our hearts and allows us to seek the best in and for those we love. You may feel incapable of doing anything about what others believe about God, themselves, or you; for the most part, you are! However, we can pour out all our troubles, fears, confusions, and hopes to our tender Savior at the throne of grace and so gain the courage to boldly persevere in remaining faithful.

Keep Grounded in the Word and Seek Support

You are vulnerable to outside voices tempting you to give in, but the best remedy for remaining faithful for the long haul is to delight in God’s Word, continually steeping yourself in his perspective and truth. When I speak about how the Bible should inform our sexuality, someone invariably comes up to me and says, “Thank you. I needed to hear that and be reminded of the real truth again.” We always need to be reminded of the truths of Scripture. But we also need the help and encouragement of others who will walk with us, shoulder our fears and burdens, and hear our pain and confusion—people who will always point us to the Savior and the truths of God’s Word.

______________________________________________________________________________________________

¹ Keller, Tim. “The Gospel and Your Self.” The Vision of Redeemer Series on Isaiah 6, November 13, 2005. Redeemer Presbyterian Church, New York.

Edited 4/21/22