One of the most common questions I receive from individuals who learn about our ministry to hurting parents is, “Where would you even start to help a parent struggling with this?” They usually ask with a sincere concern and eagerness to help. Nowadays, Christians are well aware of the cultural shifts occurring with sexual and gender identities but are often at a loss for how to speak into these issues. In particular, you may feel heavily burdened to help a parent whose child embraces an LGBTQ+ identity, but you may also feel nervous and timid when approaching such a difficult subject.
If you personally know a parent whose child is experiencing these issues, or you would like to help Christian parents who are navigating these difficult waters, I encourage you to be assertive in utilizing one of the most powerful tools of help: prayer.
Christian parents desperately need your prayers. Often, this experience is devastating and disorienting for a parent. It leaves them feeling a range of emotions from guilt, to fear, sadness, despair, and grief. Their questions and fears are simply overwhelming. In the midst of their hurt and confusion, parents need reassurance of the truth and comfort of Jesus Christ. As with many hard trials that we endure, parents need to be reminded of the truths of God they already know but are struggling to see and believe. They need the body of Christ interceding for them, providing strength in the midst of their weakness. I am reminded of Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s words, “The Christ in his own heart is weaker than the Christ in the word of his brother; his own heart is uncertain, his brother’s is sure” (Life Together, 23). In our place of strength, may we commit ourselves to interceding for parents who are deeply struggling.
When you are at a loss for which words to pray, Scripture is a good place to start. God’s word gives us language to use as we pray it back to him. I encourage you to consider finding specific passages to direct your prayer and intercession for hurting parents.
Here are a number of ways you can pray:
Pray for Comfort in Their Pain
“Lord you say, ‘Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.’ Would you let this parent know the blessing of your deep comfort in the midst of their grief over their child?” (Matthew 5:4)
“Thank you, Lord, that you are near to the brokenhearted and save the crushed in spirit. Be near to these parents in their heartbreak.” (Psalm 34:18)
Pray for Peace and Trust in God
“I pray these parents would turn to you in their anxious thoughts about their child, because you are for them. May your peace, which transcends their understanding of what is taking place, guard their hearts and minds in Christ Jesus as they entrust their requests to you.” (Philippians 4:4–7)
“I pray that this parent would trust in you with all her heart and not lean on her own understanding of what is best for her child. I pray that she would acknowledge you in all her ways, that you might direct her steps!” (Proverbs 3:5–6)
Pray for Wisdom to Love Their Child
“Father, this is my prayer: that these parents’ love for their child may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight. May they be able to discern what is best, and may they be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:9–11)
Pray for Strength and Perseverance
“Lord, please help these parents lay aside every weight and sin that entangles and run with perseverance the race you have marked out for them. Help them fix their eyes on you, the Author and Protector of their faith, who endured the cross for the joy set before him. Help them consider you who endured such opposition from sinners so that they may not grow weary or lose heart in their continued love for their child.” (Hebrews 12:1–3)
“Father, you say that you will renew the strength of those who wait on you. They shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. I pray that you would help this parent wait on you, Lord, that you might renew their strength.” (Isaiah 40:31)
Pray for Their Child
“Lord, you are the spring of living water! Open this child’s eyes to see you rightly, as the true living water for their soul. Help them see that turning to anything else to find fulfilment apart from you is only a broken cistern that cannot hold water. May you draw them to yourself.” (Jeremiah 2:13)
“Father, only you can remove a heart of stone and give a heart of flesh. I pray that you would soften this child’s heart. I pray your Holy Spirit would move in them so that they would desire to follow after you.” (Ezekiel 36:26–27)