A Prayer Against Despair When You Battle Sin
The following is meant to help those who are weary in their battle to overcome sin and need to know how to pray and cry out to God for help.
Father, help…help, God. I don’t know what else to do to get rid of this thing—why won’t you take this away?!
Sexual obedience? Integrity? How is that possible when the temptation chases, hounds, calls out to me day after day? Why do you allow me to feel these things and not have them satisfied? Will it ever get easier? Will I ever be free from this? Is this the cross to bear that people talk about, something that dominates every day of my life? How is this fair? These questions haunt me.
My feelings seem to have the loudest voice right now, so I’ll start there. Looking at porn last night felt good! Sure, it was horrible two hours later, but even though I know that stuff is evil, somehow it does help me forget about the rest of my broken life… so much that I can’t find the words to pray. I earnestly desire to fix my eyes on Jesus, but how do I do that when my feelings are just a swirl of inner turmoil? I feel like the man in Mark’s gospel who cried out to Jesus, “I believe; help my unbelief!” (9:24). I admit that it feels so hard to believe right now. Oh please, help me to feel differently, to think with the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16) and to trust you. Help, God! My unbelief is wrecking me.
I resonate with the words of the Psalmist when he says, “My heart throbs; my strength fails me, and the light of my eyes—it also has gone from me” (Psalm 38:10). My attempts to help myself have failed. All I want to do is run away. I keep hearing thoughts in my head telling me to hide, saying that other people can’t handle my truth. They tell me I’m not good enough. I might as well quit because I’m too far gone. Where are you, my God? Is this all worth it?
Father, have mercy on me and cause my heart to long for you, even in this minute. Change my desires to truly want you, to want to taste and see that you are good (Psalm 34:8). I’m helpless and need you to save and rescue me from hopelessness and help me get outside myself. I don’t have the words to say right now, but your Word says “to draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.” I resist the enemy, who is whispering all these lies to me, and I turn to you, crying out for your help (James 4:7–8). O God, help me!
Even though I am distressed, I am not broken. Even though I am overwhelmed and all I feel is despair, there is hope. Keep me from losing heart. Paul says that though my outer self is wasting away, my inner self is being renewed every day. Help me to see this. Help me to look not at the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. Give me grace to lift my eyes off my here and now and know that the battle I’m fighting in this moment isn’t pointless; it carries eternal weight (2 Corinthians 4:8, 16–18).
I know the verses about your grace being sufficient for me by heart. I want to believe that in my weakness, you are strong. But, if I’m honest, I don’t like how it feels to be so weak. I feel so exposed and out of control. I am not remotely close to being able to boast in my weakness, nor can I say that I am content in hardships and persecutions like Paul. Even so, help me believe that in my weakness, I am strong because of Jesus, even though it doesn’t feel that way (2 Corinthians 12:9–10).
Help me not give in to my feelings that tell me you are not present and that you are a distant, impersonal God. Psalm 23 tells me that you are my Shepherd, you provide me with all that I need, you give me rest, you lead me into places of peace, and you bring restoration to my soul. Even though I feel like you have abandoned me and that you will push me away because of my despair and doubts, your goodness and mercy chase after me.