In the lead article in our Spring 2018 harvestusa magazine, Ellen Dykas discusses three blind spots the Church has about women and their sexuality. What the Church doesn’t see, or what it chooses to ignore seeing, hurts women in their walk with Christ. Watch as Ellen raises these important issues, and then go read her article on what the Church needs to do.
I’m passionate about giving voice to and exposing some of the blind spots that the church has had regarding women and sexuality. There are many misconceptions and wrong interpretations about what is really going on when it comes to women and their sexuality.
Several years ago, someone close to me opened my eyes to a blind spot I had. It was humbling, painful, and eye-opening. After I’d made a sarcastic comment with an “I’m just joking” tone of voice and a smile on my face, this person looked down, and I could see tears on her cheeks. Then in a quiet voice, she said, “Ellen, sometimes I just don’t think you realize how you come across.”
To say that I was stunned and that my prideful heart was crushed is an understatement. That day, God began to help me to see aspects of my sinful and selfish heart that I’d been blind to.
Blind spots are dangerous when it involves relationships. When we don’t see what is real, when we aren’t willing to look at something due to fear, prejudice, or laziness, we can hurt people deeply.
What are some of the blind spots the church has had about women and sexuality? Here’s just a few. Women, like men, are struggling in increasing numbers with pornography and other sexually sinful behaviors. Christian marriages are experiencing sexual brokenness in ways we usually don’t think of, like women who are married to sexually unengaged husbands. It’s not only wives who aren’t in the mood. And I’ve sat with newly married women who were counseled by mentors, pastors, and premarital counselors, “You don’t need to worry about your sexual past or your fiancé’s. Once you get married, things will just work themselves out.” Wrong.
What about you? Do you have any blind spots regarding the women in your world? What are single women and married women in your church struggling with when it comes to sexuality? Are you seeing clearly how women in your congregation are grappling with living in a sex-saturated society?
We all have blind spots, and God wants us to have open and clear eyes in looking at people and the world we live in. The women in your life, and women of all ages in all of our churches, need us to have 20/20 vision in order to know them and help them live well in God’s truth and love.
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