Being Single and Tempted: How can I avoid sexual sin?

Being Single and Tempted

Scripture says to singles that we are expected to live without sexual relationships or experiences at all. I talked last time about motivation for living this way. Now I want to mention a few strategies to help you.

Hebrews 4:16 says, “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in time of need.” And Romans 13:14 commands us each to put on the Lord Jesus Christ and to make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts. For those of us who are single and committed to integrity with our sexuality, we have to get practical. This means faithful and intentional, street-level obedience in this area of our life. Here are four ideas for singles to keep in mind and to act upon.

Being Single and Tempted: Pursue Jesus

Pursue Jesus through Bible study, prayer, and time alone with him. Putting on Jesus doesn’t mean to just mentally take stock of what is true about him, but to actively cultivate your friendship with him. Drawing close to him will lead to increasingly drawing away from sources of sexual temptation. And this includes pouring out your painful emotions tied to things like loneliness, disappointment, stress, and other struggles.

Being Single and Tempted: Be Alert

Next, be alert to the specific triggers which help you to walk towards temptation rather than to run away. Make a list of the things that trip you up: people, circumstances that, instead of strengthening you and your love for Jesus and your resolve to be holy, actually make it easier for you to be tempted and to give in. Other things: times of the day, being alone, weekends, nights, social media, certain TV shows, getting online when no one’s around, even your smartphone.

Once you’ve identified the triggers that set you up for failure, every time you see them, run, even if this is costly and inconvenient. Cancel your cable, get rid of your smartphone, or severely limit your data. Break up with that person. Change churches. Don’t get online at certain hours of the day. Being out of the loop socially or uncool with technology is worth it if it helps you escape enslaving sins.

Being Single and Tempted: Cultivate Friendships

Third, cultivate real friendships with people who can know and love you. Our staff consistently seeks to encourage the people we disciple to be proactive in looking for people who might become true friends. So many men and women live in isolation and have unknown private lives filled with secrets and shame and sin. We all need people with whom we can walk in the light.

Being Single and Tempted: Return Again

And then finally, when you fail and walk into sin, return again to the throne of grace for the mercy and help you need, and walk on. If you give way to sexual temptation, with a person, by yourself, in your thoughts, or online, Jesus remains your loving rescuer and the one who cleanses you from sin and compels you forward. There’s nothing more practical than receiving his grace in the midst of our struggles.