Intergenerational Discipleship: Don’t Retire from Gospel Ministry

Titus 2:1–7 is a keystone passage in emphasizing the importance of intergenerational discipleship within the church and highlighting the vital role older generations play in discipling those who are younger:

But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. Older men are to be . . . sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise . . . are to teach what is good, and so train the young women . . . Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works.

I give an abridged presentation of the passage to highlight the two-tiered discipleship that the Apostle Paul calls older believers to engage in. First, this is a Word-based discipleship of sound teaching that is faithful, loving, and steadfast. Second, it’s a deeds-based discipleship that models by action what is being taught by words.

How do we devote ourselves to being (or becoming) Titus 2 “older believers” who engage in intergenerational discipleship in both words and deeds—even and especially in matters of sexual sin that can be most hidden and difficult to talk about?

In discipling younger men and women, I suggest four points to consider: embrace a higher calling than the world has to offer, overcome potential fears regarding mentorship, recognize the unique benefits of growing older, and take one practical first step. We’ll address each of these topics by looking at principles the Apostle Paul provides in 1 Thessalonians 2.  

A Worldly View or a Higher Calling? (1 Thessalonians 2:1–4)

There’s a State Farm advertisement where a woman goes to her boss and gives a 15-year retirement notice! She praises the help of her State Farm agent in making this possible and explains how she’s going to start packing up her belongings now, because “15 years will really sneak up on you.” The ad closes with the slogan, “take charge of your retirement!”

This advertisement, especially its closing slogan, presents a worldly view of aging. Take charge—be in control of your aging—and carefully protect your retirement as the time when you get to do whatever you want. This messaging, at its core, is of the same vein as the temptation Satan gave to Eve to eat the forbidden fruit and become lord over your own life (Gen. 3:4–5).

The Apostle Paul’s life had no room for such a self-centered philosophy. He explained how he endured suffering, shame, and conflict in Thessalonica to preach the gospel, because his life’s calling was “not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts” (1 Thess. 2:4).     

Yes, it’s appropriate and wise to plan for retirement (1 Tim. 5:8). But, for the Christian, that plan can never include retiring from gospel ministry or the pursuit of pleasing God. We don’t stop expecting that he will test our hearts with hard things on our way to glory. We are not to structure our aging in such a way as to justify “unburdening” ourselves from these high callings of the Christian faith. Paul’s motivation for lifelong endurance must be ours, too—that such unwavering devotion to the work of Christ, with all the self-sacrifice it may involve, is never done in vain (1 Thess. 1:1).

Don’t Be Afraid of Intergenerational Discipleship (1 Thessalonians 2:5–8)

The Apostle Paul explains how, when he came to Thessalonica, he did not come to engage in flattery, greed, people-pleasing, or coercion (vv. 5–6). These are the very sins young and old Christians both must address to get to the root of many apprehensions they may have regarding intergenerational discipleship.

Are you afraid to bring up the topic of sin because flattery seems like the path of least resistance? Maybe you wouldn’t call yourself greedy, but discipleship does seem like it would cut into a lot of personal time. Have you thought, “Yes, some people may like to go deep with me into the hard places of life, but others might not like that at all—and they might not like me, either, if I invite them down that path.” Are you fearful that you’re unable to connect well with others who are different from you? Maybe you’ve built a selfish habit of using those different from you for their strengths and belittling them for their weaknesses. Perhaps a relationship of coercion is more valuable to you than a relationship of discipleship.

How can we overcome these fears and sinful thoughts? 1 John 4:18 gives the answer: “perfect love casts out fear!” And Paul practically worked out this perfect love in his ministry to Thessalonica: “But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children. So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us” (vv.7–8).

Gentleness, maternal-like nurturing met by childlike humility, mutual affection for one another, gospel-oriented counsel, self-sacrificing devotion, and a unified effort to become very dear to one another—these are expressions of love which push back against the fears one might have in pursuing intergenerational discipleship.

Unique Benefits Older Christians Bring to Discipleship (1 Thessalonians 2:9–12)

There are at least three benefits older Christians may have when it comes to their engagement in discipleship. The first is, potentially, having a unique amount of available time. Paul described working night and day while in Thessalonica for the sake of gospel ministry (v. 9). Often, those who need discipleship need an intense portion of a mentor’s time. Older believers—especially after becoming empty nesters or retirees—likely have a unique breadth and depth of time that would make a major difference in others’ lives. I serve many men struggling with sexual sin, and one of the hardest parts of helping them develop accountability and support is finding people willing and able to give a needed investment of time.  

The second unique benefit older Christians can offer in discipleship is their spiritual maturity. Paul says to the Thessalonian believers, “You are witnesses, and God also, how holy and righteous and blameless was our conduct toward you believers” (1 Thess. 2:10). The one who called himself the foremost of sinners (1 Tim. 1:15) was not attempting to describe himself as perfect, but he did recognize an important tool for discipleship: being a role-model. Puritan minister Matthew Henry explains why generally those who are older are uniquely qualified to be role models of the faith: “it will be expected that those that are old should be good, that the multitude of their years should teach them the best wisdom.” The matured goodness and wisdom of older saints should be humbly offered up as an example to others, saying, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ” (1 Cor. 11:1). 

The third unique benefit older Christians can offer in discipleship is the relational dynamic, quality, and character of parental care. Paul intentionally ministered to those in Thessalonica “like a father with his children” (v. 11). In a society where we are so quick to look for answers to all our questions and problems through technology, something is missing that technology will never be able to replicate: actual human connection. While the stereotype is that those who are younger benefit from being tech-savvy, they will never be able to Google, find on social media, produce through AI, or order off of Amazon the relational parenting that you, as an older Christian, can offer. Technology will never be able to replicate the love of parental care, with its nurturing expressions of encouragement, rebuke, and counsel.

To Begin Intergenerational Discipleship, Love Your Church

Paul concludes 1 Thessalonians 2 by vividly describing the quality of his love for the church of Thessalonica. He explains how, though separated from them physically, they always remained in his heart; he shared a great desire to see (them) face to face; he “wanted to come to (them).” And he concludes the chapter by stating, “For what is our hope or joy or crown of boasting before our Lord Jesus at his coming? Is it not you? For you are our glory and joy” (1 Thes. 2:17–20). When you’re away from your church body during the week, does this describe your longings? When you’re driving to church on the Lord’s Day, does this perspective cultivate your anticipation? And when you walk into the house of God to commune with him and the body of Christ, do such affections shape how you strive to engage with those around you?

Cultivating this depth and breadth of love for your local church is the vital first step in pursuing intergenerational discipleship! Remember, when you love your church, you are loving its head, Christ Jesus, and there is no greater labor of glory and joy than that (Matt. 25:35–40)!