A Liturgy of Rest for Sleepless Nights of Sexual Temptation

Sleepless nights and sexual temptation. Those words may bring up undesirable memories you wish to never relive. The book of Ecclesiastes accurately describes the restlessness of a sleepless night:

What has a man from all the toil and striving of heart with which he toils beneath the sun? For all his days are full of sorrow, and his work is a vexation. Even in the night his heart does not rest. This also is vanity. (Eccles. 2:22–23)

Sleepless Nights and Sexual Temptation

We all have times when we approach sleep feeling like our bodies, minds, and hearts have been run through a blender. We can feel disoriented by a host of negative thoughts and emotions as we bear life’s aching wounds. This is the human condition of living in a fallen world. Things can feel a little “off,” not right at all, or entirely torn to pieces. In all those moments, sleep can evade us.

Restlessness seems to cry out from every atom of our bodies, “Give me satiation, peace, comfort, freedom . . . rest!” Masturbation, pornography, sexual fantasy, and extramarital connections—all these expressions of sexual sin pull on our bodies and souls with a magnetic draw to answer such a cry. Yet in those moments of restlessness and sexual temptation, we have a superior Comforter and Sustainer.    

Participate in God’s True Rest through Liturgy

One definition for the term “liturgy” is “a customary repertoire of ideas, phrases, or observances.” Imagine what it could look like in nights of darkness to have a prepared, curated wellspring of familiar and cherished ideas, phrases, and observances guiding your heart, mind, and body towards your God. When the current of sexual temptation moves within you, fully awakened and energized, and you find yourself exhausted and weak, you needn’t face this riptide alone—instead, you can be buoyed up by God’s Word as you intentionally fix your gaze upon the one who calms all storms (Mark 4). Putting together such a liturgy lays hold of the promise that, as you draw near to God, “He will draw near to you” (James 4:8).

Five Components for Your Liturgy of Rest in Sleepless Nights

1. A God-Glorifying Day of Work

Your nighttime liturgy actually begins first thing in the morning. God established a pattern for his image bearers to follow: “For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day” (Ex. 20:11). The broad pattern is that both work and rest, in a balanced conjunction, are good and necessary for promoting God’s glory through human flourishing. No, we are not saved by our works (Eph. 2:8–9). However, we are still called to engage in good works. Furthermore, to not partake in good works has temporal consequences, even for those eternally saved by faith. This principle is affirmed by the Apostle Paul when he writes, “If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat” (2 Thess. 3:10b). Paul goes on to say that if this slothfulness is left unrepented, it should produce a conviction of shame (3:14). One consequence of a day when good work is neglected could be a burdensome sense of shame that keeps us restlessly awake into the night.

Your nighttime liturgy should begin at the first light of day with a prayer like this: “Lord, may I be devoted to the good works you have for me today. In all I do, may I glorify you (1 Cor. 10:31). Let my conscience be at peace tonight, knowing I honored you with the good stewardship of my day. I desire to hear the praises of the Master to his servant, ‘well done, good and faithful servant’ (Matt. 25:21, 23).”

2. Confession of Sins

King David sharply described the restlessness of unconfessed sins:

For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away

    through my groaning all day long.

For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;

    my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. (Ps. 32:3–4)

As crushing as his description of hidden sin was, the contrasting relief and rest found in confessing his sins to God shines all the brighter in comparison:

Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven,

    whose sin is covered.

Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity,

    and in whose spirit there is no deceit. (Ps. 32:1–2)

Your nighttime liturgy to counter sexual temptation must include honest consideration and confession of sin. We seek God to cover, by his grace through the blood of Christ, what we are unable to cover in our hiding.

3. Assurance of Grace

The burden of a sleepless night can bring with it venomous sexual temptation. The fork-tongued serpent of sexual sin promises to answer your cries but only constricts you in further restlessness. Idols fail in their puny mimicry of rest, but this grand hope remains: “Yet God my King is from of old, working salvation in the midst of the earth. Yours is the day, yours also the night; you have established the heavenly lights and the sun” (Ps. 74:12,16).

In your sleepless nights, you can redefine your experience of true rest. Consider how your heavenly Father has been and will be forever the all-powerful Creator, Lord, and Sustainer over all things in every night. No matter how out of control you may experience some nights to be, your God is forever strong and able to continue working out his plan of your salvation (Rom. 8). During the sleepless nights of your most fiery temptations, our victorious God is with you, and he remains forever yours!

4. Respond to God’s Grace

After considering and confessing our sins to God and dwelling upon his grace and mercy, we then should be compelled to respond to our God. The Apostle Paul lays out how we—those whose sins have been seen and covered—are to respond to our gracious Lord, “addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Eph. 5:19–20). Here, Paul builds upon Christ’s summation of the law: we respond to the gospel with love for God and love for others (Matt. 22).

Sleeplessness is well-redeemed when, as a part of our liturgy, we cultivate hearts of gratitude and offer prayers of thanksgiving to our generous heavenly Father. Such confidence in the goodness of God means that on sleepless nights we can honestly and hopefully give God our anxieties to bear (1 Peter 5). A sleepless night provides an opportunity to pray for those around us. You may never know how God uses your sleepless nights of intercessory prayer to accomplish miraculous things in the lives of those for whom you pray.

Being in loving fellowship with others also means considering plans for reaching out in times of sexual temptation. Yes, in the late hours of the night it can be hard or even inappropriate to contact someone. However, Jesus establishes that genuine Christian love is sacrificial (John 15). My point is simply this: while you should not demand or expect every person in your church to be available to engage with you at 2 a.m., if you never ask anyone, you will never know who is willing to do such a thing. As God’s love abounds in and through his people, you may be surprised how much joyful accommodation can be found through humbly asking. Do not let prideful fear deprive you of God’s loving provisions of care for you.

5. Engage the Senses

David describes his engagement with the Lord as incorporating his senses: “Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!” (Ps. 34:8). Matthew Henry builds upon this verse in describing what the believer’s pursuit of God should look like. “We must taste that he is a bountiful benefactor, relish the goodness of God in all his gifts to us, and reckon (consider) that the savor and sweetness of them. Let God’s goodness be rolled under the tongue as a sweet morsel.”

How could you, in your liturgy for sleepless nights, engage your senses to taste, touch, smell, hear, and see the gifts of God around you? Explore new ways to worship God as your good and bountiful benefactor. Are there hymns you could sing, a favorite fragrant tea you could drink? What about settling down in a comfy chair, with a warm blanket and an encouraging Psalm to reflect upon? Consider how these things remind you of God’s care for you, even in your sleeplessness as you fight sexual temptation. There is growing scientific evidence showing that technology usage fights against sleep, and it is a well-known avenue for sexual temptation. Stay away from screens and instead pursue analog avenues of engaging your senses as part of your nighttime liturgy.

God Is with You

Liturgy should always cultivate an awareness of this truth: God is with us! May your nighttime liturgy find vitality as you anchor yourself in these words of the psalmist:

O Lord, you have searched me and known me!

You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar.

You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways.

Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. (Ps.139:1–4)