Serving Self or Serving Christ

Sexual sin causes a lot of destruction in its aftermath. But one of the most devastating consequences is a feedback loop of self-centeredness that will eventually consume a person.

Consider some of the ways that sexual sin is on display all around you. Whether in pornography, fantasy, or anonymous sexual encounters, other people, both real and imaginary, seem to exist for you and your pleasure. You certainly are not thinking about how you could sacrifice for their good. Instead, you feed upon them to satisfy your own appetite.

As we are all well acquainted with the sin in our own hearts, we should be aware by now: our self-centeredness extends beyond merely a single, sinful act. In most cases involving sexual sin, you have to plan and then cover up your behavior. This requires extensive time, contemplation, energy, and even resources to keep your facade going and from being detected. All of that energy could have been used to build up others, but instead it’s being spent on yourself.

But we can’t even stop there. For anyone whose conscience hasn’t been completely seared, your sin brings guilt and shame. And guilt and shame can very easily devour us so that we can’t think about anything else. Hours that could have been spent freely and joyfully giving yourself to serving God and serving others, like playing with your children, spending time with your wife, hanging out with friends, or practicing on the worship team: those hours instead are being spent in a self-serving pursuit that usually leads to despair.

I bring this up to highlight how your sin has programmed your mind in radical opposition to sacrificial love. Interestingly, some people only want to give up their sin because of how it affects them. But again, this narrow focus still maintains that self-centered feedback.

So let me encourage you with a principle that applies not only to sexual struggles, but to every single part of our lives. And that is: we lay down our lives through and for Christ. Let me unpack those two prepositions.

First, we lay down our lives through Christ. Through union with Christ and through your new birth, the Holy Spirit has fundamentally changed your allegiances. As a Christian, by definition, Jesus reigns in your heart as number one. Does this mean we always choose Christ over sin? No, of course not. Even in our best moments, we don’t offer Jesus the worship he deserves. But in the deepest core of who you are, as a new creation in Christ, you have bowed the knee to Jesus by grace. This means that he is at work in you. He is transforming your heart. He is conforming you to his image. And that image is of one who lays down his life for his friends. He is working that character in you. Turn to Jesus today and every day and ask him to change you. He will do it.

Secondly, we lay down our lives for Christ. If you’re like me, you’re happy to serve others as long as they acknowledge your service. But what do you do when your sacrificial service goes unacknowledged or, worse, is questioned or opposed? What possible reason can we have for serving others when it seems to bring us no perceived benefit and perhaps even makes our lives worse? We serve not so that people will attend to us in return, but because we are ultimately serving our King. We live for him first and foremost. We do all for his sake, for his glory, to magnify his love. And in so doing, we find incredible joy and satisfaction.

Brothers and sisters, remember 2 Corinthians 5:15, which says, “Jesus died for all, so that those who live might no longer live for themselves, but for him who for their sake died and was raised.”