How Is Lust a Form of Coveting?

Many of us know the frustrating experience of being attracted to others and then wrestling with the temptation to lust after them. What might be even more frustrating is the lack of control you feel in those moments. The only solutions you may have come up with are darting your eyes, trying to find some flaw in that person that would make them seem less attractive, or just avoiding them altogether.

But the problem isn’t with that person. Their attractiveness is not the enemy of your soul. They aren’t even the focus of your heart. In moments of attraction and lust, you are often most focused on yourself.

What do I mean by that? Attraction implies value. We are attracted to people or things we perceive have value. So we’re attracted to nice cars, superstar athletes, expensive clothing, you name it. Now, it’s not wrong to see value in others. We are called in Scripture to see great value in other people, because we are all made in the image of God.

So what’s the problem with perceiving value in others? The problem can be summed up in one word: coveting. We covet what we don’t have. But we don’t covet everything we don’t have. I don’t own a motorcycle, but I don’t covet people who own one. Why? Because I don’t place a lot of value in owning a motorcycle. But what we do covet are things we don’t have and things we greatly value. And we often lust after people we perceive would endow us with value.

In and of ourselves, we all wrestle with deep insecurities and doubts about our worth and identity. A powerful counterfeit to make up for these insecurities would be to be affirmed, and even sexually affirmed, by people you see as being confident, secure, and attractive. If that person would affirm you, that gives a great sense that you do have value, because the most attractive people you know are giving that to you. But lust doesn’t receive affirmation; it forcefully takes it. Coveting isn’t receiving good gifts. It’s stealing what is not yours to have.

So instead of only focusing on bouncing your eyes, ask yourself this question: Where do I find my security and worth? Do I find it in what other people think of me? Do I find it in my physical appearance, success, intellect, financial stability, or number of likes on my Instagram posts? Or do I find my value in the one who is supremely valuable? Do I fight to believe that my eternal value rests in being united to Jesus Christ by faith, that the Maker, Sustainer, and Redeemer of the universe would call me to sit with him in the heavenly places?

And what’s even more astounding is that Jesus wants to show himself to the world through you. He wants you to represent him. The challenge is that our world doesn’t recognize what is truly valuable. In our daily interactions with others, representing Jesus probably won’t lead to accolades, but instead scorn, mocking, and even persecution.

This is why God warns us about finding our value in the opinions of others. It will take our focus off of what is truly valuable. Instead, God calls us to set our eyes on things above, where Christ is seated, because right now our lives are hidden with Christ. But when Jesus appears, you too will appear with him.