Be Anchored in God’s Love as You Care for Sexual Strugglers

God’s love is the great comfort of those caring for sexual strugglers—indeed, how can we express the magnitude of it?

Could we with ink the ocean fill

And were the skies of parchment made,

were ev’ry stalk on earth a quill

And ev’ry man a scribe by trade,

To write the love of God above

Would drain the ocean dry;

Nor could the scroll contain the whole,

Tho’ stretched from sky to sky.^[1]

While God’s love is boundless, ministry to those struggling with sexual sin shows me how limited I am in what I can realistically do to help. A surgeon can leave the operating room knowing whether the procedure went well or not—apart from God’s providence, the surgeon’s skill and the patient’s condition all play a visible role, especially when life and death hang in the balance. But when I walk out of a small-group meeting or discipleship session, I know that my gifts alone cannot reach or heal a human heart. The outcome of spiritual labor is never mine to determine. There is always another—the great Physician—at work.

Three Truths About God’s Love to Empower Ministry

The despair of a betrayed and hurting wife can feel greater than any word of peace I utter, no matter how tender. The weight of life-dominating sexual sins can feel insurmountable; my wisdom falls short. Even my prayers require constant outside help, much like Moses who needed Aaron and Hur to hold up his hands amid battle (Ex. 17:10–13). Yet when I’m most weak and the “problem” seems bigger than whatever I can muster in thought or skill, I’ve found my fingers running back to Scripture like a perplexed child seeking answers, meditating on one particular attribute of God . . . his love.

God’s love is not just something he does from everlasting to everlasting, it’s who he is (1 John 4:16). God’s love is there where my heart has been struck by the gospel preached afresh over and over again, as I’m granted clear directions from above to care for lost souls. Ministry, as beautiful as it may be, is not about us who are meant to decrease, but about the Lord who is already at work and who’s meant to increase (John 3:30). He is the one sustaining everything in the first place. We are mere instruments in his hands. We must uphold this truth as though life and death hang in the balance, knowing we’d fail as stewards of God’s ministry otherwise.

Thus, I want to share with you, dear parents and ministry leaders, three truths about God’s love that I pray will anchor you as you care for sexual strugglers. May each son and daughter, brother and sister see your deep dependence on God, and know that your counsel flows from his Word to their hearts as you proclaim that which you have seen and heard, in fellowship with the Father and the Son, where your joy may be complete (1 John 1:3-4).

1. God’s Love Is a Profound Mystery

First, we need to acknowledge the profound mystery of God’s love woven throughout Scripture. To my human eyes, it resembles the unequaled affection and sacrifice parents pour into the growth of their children. Over the years, a kind of “debt” accumulates—one the child could never repay—and yet, surprisingly, parents absorb it repeatedly through love. We, as sons and daughters, may try to return the lifelong kindness, only soon to realize how far short we fall. And for those whose family stories are marked by fracture or absence, I don’t mean to overlook your pain; in my own life, foster and spiritual parents have embodied this love in ways that still humble me.

All of this only hints at the deeper truth: our covenant-keeping God loves with a steadfast and faithful love, as the mystery of the cross is one we cannot comprehend.The agonies of Calvary show the Son drinking the bitter cup that we deserved. There, divine wrath was fully satisfied through his perfect sacrifice. Though we were debtors and enemies, he brought us near with an everlasting love, always faithful, always kind (Jer. 31:3). Oh, yes,

Jesus loves me, this I know,

for the Bible tells me so.

Little ones to him belong;

They are weak, but he is strong.^[2]

So, friends, it is never too late to sing God-given truths to our little ones and one another faithfully. Remember how your Father in heaven exults over you (Zeph. 3:17) and has never left his own as orphans (John 14:18).

2. God’s Love Is Abundant and Forbearing

Secondly, God’s abundant love is marked by a forbearance that outlasts every generation. The Lord has never stopped caring, listening, or moving toward his people, no matter how transient our lives are. Whether single, married, separated, or divorced, our earthly lives frequently change; God does not. And, if we’re honest, our love fails far more often than it succeeds. Sometimes we’re patient and kind, but other times we judge quickly and pull back from what’s difficult. Sometimes we persevere through the harshest calamities, but other times we lose trust in the space of a moment, especially in the wake of deep sexual sin.

However, God’s love is not so. It covers his beloved bride like the stars in heaven which Abraham could not number (Gen. 15:5). If God’s Word “shall succeed in the thing for which [he] sent it” (Isa. 55:11), then we can rest assured knowing that, no matter where we find ourselves, we can enter his house “through the abundance of [his] steadfast love” (Ps. 5:7), just as king David did. And when his love demands obedience (John 14:15, 21; 1 John 2:3–6; 5:3), our disobedience can find no refuge except in the arms of a God who “so loved the world that he gave his only Son” (John 3:16). In Christ, love covers a multitude of sins (1 Pet. 4:8). And this is why Jesus’s voice echoes through the ages—time has no bearing on its power. Oh, yes,

Depth of mercy! Can it be

Mercy still reserved for me?

Can my God his wrath forbear,

Me, the chief of sinners, spare?

Jesus speaks, and pleads His blood!

He disarms the wrath of God;

Now my Father’s mercies move,

Justice lingers into love.^[3]

“So, friends, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God” (1 Cor. 7:24) full of hope. “Abide in him, so that when he appears we may have confidence and not shrink from him in shame at his coming” (1 John 2:28). And fear not, for God is with you . . . he will strengthen you, help you, and uphold you with his righteous right hand (Isa. 41:10). Christ endured the cross, despising the shame, “for the joy that was set before him” and is now seated at the right hand of God’s throne (Heb. 12:2).

Remember: where our treasure is, there our hearts will be also (Matt. 6:21). And this treasure, held in fragile jars of clay, reminds us that the surpassing power belongs not to us, but to God alone (2 Cor. 4:7).

3. God’s Love Is Greater than Any Counterfeit

Lastly, we must be soberly aware of the many counterfeits of God’s love that can quietly rule our lives. These false loves promise satisfaction, but they are empty. Counterfeits hide behind good things that become ‘god’ things. Sex, jobs, relationships, health—placed above God, even the best gifts become idols. Though “every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights” (James 1:17), counterfeits deceive us into worshiping the created thing rather than the Creator.

Counterfeits distort our desires, steal our hope, and mislead us into placing ultimate value on what is fleeting while neglecting the eternal. These false loves have blinded the faithful with pride and troubled consciences through pursuits that bear only folly (Ps. 115:4–8; Jonah 2:8–9; Acts 14:15; 17:24–25; Rom. 1:21–25; 1 Cor. 8:4–6; 1 Thess. 1:9; Rev. 21:8; 22:14–15). God’s love can feel distant, unmeasured, and formless as counterfeits whisper lies about our reality and worth.

Thus, we need to remember the Father’s love as we live between the times. We know how blessed we are as a chosen people called out of darkness (1 Pet. 2:9) but have yet to experience the fullness of such blessing as we wait for Jesus to return (Rom. 5:9, 8:23; 1 Cor. 15:52; Eph. 4:30; 1 Thess. 5:23–24). This tension is an earthly struggle that can be painful to interpret and navigate when facing counterfeits. So, we earnestly remember the Father’s love. By sending his own Son for us, our God has done what the law could not do (Rom. 8:3). Oh, yes, God,

Loved with everlasting love,

led by grace that love to know;

gracious Spirit from above,

Thou hast taught me it is so!

O this full and precious peace!

From his presence all divine;

In a love which cannot cease,

I am his and he is mine.^[4]

So, friends, “see what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are” (1 John 3:1). Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and strength (Luke 10:27) and “love one another” (1 John 4:7), for there are no greater commandments than these (Mark 12:31).

And as you, beloved of the Father, faithfully sing the truth, calling people to remain in God full of hope—as you love the lost, keep caring for sexual strugglers. Remember, “now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love” (1 Cor. 13:13). Let all glory rest in Jesus, who loves his own to the end. He asks us, “Do you love me?” (John 13:1; 21:17), just as it was asked of Simon Peter three times. May your answer be, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you” (John 21:15). Now go, feed and tend to his lambs, all ye faithful.

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^[1] Frederick M. Lehman, “The Love of God is Greater Far,” Our Great Redeemer’s Praise #96, 1917, hymnary.org, last accessed December 3, https://hymnary.org/text/the_love_of_god_is_greater_far.

^[2] Anna Bartlett Warner, “Jesus Loves Me, This I Know,” Psalter Hymnal, 1987, hymnary.org, last accessed December 3, https://hymnary.org/text/jesus_loves_me_this_i_know_for_the_bible.

^[3] Charles Wesley, “Depth of Mercy,” Psalms and Hymns to the Living God #205, 1740, hymnary.org, last accessed December 3, https://hymnary.org/text/depth_of_mercy_can_there_be.

^[4] George W. Robinson, “I Am His, and He Is Mine,” Our Great Redeemer’s Praise #100, 1890, hymnary.org, last accessed December 3, https://hymnary.org/text/loved_with_everlasting_love.