Just What Is Godly Sex? – Part 2

Although most Christians know the moral guardrails of sex, they’re unable to explain the deeper realities behind God’s design. But the Bible has much more to say about sexuality than procreation or “just wait until marriage.” In this video, we’ll briefly discuss two practical aspects of godly sex.

First, godly sex serves another. The only how-to passage in the Bible is 1 Corinthians 7:1-5, and it makes clear that there is no room in Christian marriage for sex on demand. Against a culture proclaiming sex is about personal pleasure, this passage teaches sex is about giving pleasure to your spouse. It says my body belongs to my wife; I’m called to use it to bless her. God designed sexuality and marriage to teach couples the joy and blessing of serving. God intends husband and wife to approach the marriage bed looking to pleasure one another. This is the recipe for a great sex life. And it’s another reason why marriages need good communication. A dynamic sex life doesn’t come easily or naturally. It requires intentionality, effort, direct conversation, and practice. Part of the joy and wonder is discovering how to satisfy someone who’s built radically different than you.

Second, godly sex takes work. What does that look like? We need to fight against the lies of the world telling us that sex equals life, and glorifying sinful sexuality as superior to God’s design. Sex is glorious because it points beyond itself to the lover of our souls. If we think it’s more than a signpost, we’re setting ourselves up for discontent. Sex will always be more like a piece of chocolate cake, a gift to be received with thanksgiving, than something that’s going to change your life.

Further, many couples have broken sexual histories or present struggles tainting their intimacy. Sexual sin mars the blessing God wants us to experience. So many marriages are impacted by porn use. It violates the call to forsake all others, and its effects are devastating. Couples must fight to overcome struggles with sin and seek healing for broken pasts.

Because we’re made in the image of God, our sexuality is about becoming one with another person, emotionally and spiritually as well as physically. In marriage, we are invited back to the experience of “naked and not ashamed,” to be known for who we truly are and experience profound love and acceptance. Marriages become broken and distant when it’s not safe to be vulnerable. Sex is intended to be a celebration of the emotional and spiritual closeness experienced by husband and wife in all of life. The Hebrew word yada is used most frequently in the Old Testament for sexual intimacy. It means “to know,” because image-bearing sexuality should be the culmination of a deep knowing and oneness. So a great sex life starts in life’s mundane moments: driving in the car, sitting in the living room, during long walks, and doing the dishes.

But here’s a big problem in many marriages. It’s too easy to let sexual expression fall by the wayside in the busyness of life. Juggling jobs, children, household responsibilities, church activities, and friendships: all of it takes time. The Bible makes clear that this crucial area of marriage can’t be neglected. Couples must prioritize building mutual intimacy, emotional, spiritual, and physical, in order for their marriage to flourish.

May we increasingly worship God through our sexuality, knowing that whether we fast or feast, this good gift is intended to be a signpost to the great consummation with Jesus, a herald of the glorious life to come.