The Detransition Movement: 6 Ways the Church Can Help

It’s already happening! Men and women, young and old, are painfully coming to the realization that their attempts at peace and happiness through cross-sex hormones and “gender-reassignment” surgeries ultimately failed. Internal distress remains. Suicidal ideation hasn’t diminished. A new sense of identity hasn’t stuck. Some of these image bearers of God are setting foot into our churches, questioning whether there is still hope for them to live as God originally intended. In this detransition movement, how can we help people follow Jesus?

What Is the Detransition Movement?

Detransitioning is the process of taking steps to reverse the effects of seeking to artificially change one’s gender through a variety of social and medical interventions. They no longer identify as a gender that is incongruent with their biological sex, and they are making life choices now that reflect this conviction.

Is the body of Christ ready to receive, help, and walk with our detransitioning brothers and sisters?

Many detransitioners sought to live as a new gender for five, ten, even twenty years before changing course. This shouldn’t surprise us, because for those who have taken radical steps to alter so much about their lives, it can seem impossible to come back. Even if someone regrets their decision to transition, many may be living with the resignation that they’ve gone too far, and this is just the way it is now. 

This is one of the many ways in which the gospel uniquely shines. The message of Jesus is that no matter how far you’ve gone, you can always come back (Luke 15:11–32)! If you still have breath in your lungs, Jesus is ready with open arms to fully receive you.

But while Jesus is ready, are we? Is the body of Christ ready to receive, help, and walk with our detransitioning brothers and sisters? Perhaps you’re eager to help destransitioners, but you don’t know what to say or how to start. Here are six things for the church to consider to help detransitioners follow Jesus.

Start Slow and Show Love

Detransitioning is not a quick, one step process, and gender distress is not “one size fits all.” If this is a confusing, intimidating topic for you, pray and ask God to help you learn more about this experience of suffering.

Then, pray for God to give you his heart of compassion for those coming to your church. Some may not yet be convinced they should detransition, but they know they need help. Just like any visitor who comes to your church, you want to welcome them, show hospitality and gratitude that they’re with you, and expect that they may not be ready to jump into the life of the church or walk through an intense season of discipleship or counseling.

Over time, if they continue to come, they might tell you that they’re looking to detransition or have already started that process. This is great news, but don’t assume that their resolve is ironclad. They are on a journey, and just as their original transition probably involved many fits and starts, don’t be surprised if their journey back to God’s original design has a similar character. Settle in with them for the long journey.

Understand Their Story

Hopefully it goes without saying that if someone has taken radical steps to live as the opposite gender (or a gender category of their own making), they have a story to tell. Invite, but don’t push this person to share their story if they’re not ready. Usually, people wait until they see enough evidence that you’re trustworthy to handle the delicate matters of their hearts. 

If they start to open up to you, make every effort to communicate how thankful you are for their honesty in sharing with you. Some people will have great insights into the issues that led them down a transgender path. They’ll understand factors about their childhood, homelife, peer-pressure, abuse or trauma, and their experience of the world that made them feel other, isolated, vulnerable, and desperate for a radical change.

Others might struggle to understand why they always felt different. This strong pull towards living as the opposite gender seems shrouded in mystery. Your job isn’t to give a firm diagnosis of why they took the path of transitioning, but instead to ask good questions that help them think deeper about their lives and the context for the choices they’ve made.

Reframe Their Suffering and Sin Through a Gospel Lens

Along with asking good questions, you also have the opportunity to reflect the character, truth, and love of Christ in how you respond to both their suffering and their sin.

If someone is looking to detransition, their life has probably been marked by suffering. They may have suffered abuse at the hands of someone who was supposed to protect them. They may suffer with depression, anxiety, autism, an eating disorder, or a host of other mental health struggles. Peer relationships may have been painful at best, traumatizing at worst. My hope is that when you hear about these things, you are genuinely grieved for them, and your countenance shows it. There is great healing when someone you trust and look up to genuinely acknowledges your suffering. 

As you talk about their suffering, explain how our fallen, hurting hearts are prone to interpret and respond to trials in sinful ways. For example, when someone in a position of power or authority sins against us, we assume that God must be the same way, and instead of turning to him as our refuge, we look for self-sufficient ways to protect ourselves. Or, when someone is isolated and battling depression or anxiety, it can be tempting to see the support, adulation, and seeming liberation that others who identify as transgender receive and conclude that taking on a similar identity will lift them out of their pain.

In a world of great confusion and chaos, the church needs to be a bastion of clarity and celebration of our gendered existence.

But our perfect Savior Jesus Christ—the Son of God who took on flesh—not only knows our suffering intimately but also died for our sinful responses to it so we can receive forgiveness, healing, and transformation through his resurrection life.

Present a Biblical Vision for Male and Female

It was God’s good pleasure for humanity to reflect his image as both male and female (Gen. 1:27). Biblically, we see a beautiful interplay of diversity and equality in God’s creation of men and women. The very purpose of mankind is wrapped up in our gendered makeup. Perhaps this is why gender is under such constant attack by the enemy. Today—more than ever, it seems—it’s become harder and harder to say anything good or definitive about men and women.

Brothers and sisters, those who are part of this detransition movement need a strong biblical theology of what it means to be male or female. In a world of great confusion and chaos, the church needs to be a bastion of clarity and celebration of our gendered existence. This is a tall task. It’s far from complete, even within the church, but we must not give up in casting a vision of what it looks like to glorify God as men and women if we want to help detransitioners.

Help Detransitioners with Practical Questions

Detransitioning comes with many practical concerns that will eventually need to be addressed along with the issues of the heart. How does repentance impact someone’s self-presentation in such things as chosen name, physical appearance, dress, makeup, activities, and even the damage done through hormones or surgeries? Here are a few considerations.

Gently guide them towards steps of identification with their biological sex.

The first and most urgent need isn’t for someone to change their wardrobe. However, a key aspect of repentance is taking steps toward identifying as the man or woman God made them to be. 

When it comes to choices about clothing, hair, accessories, or make-up, I find Sam Andreades’ category of “cultural clothing” helpful. Because gender matters in relationships, how we present ourselves must keep in mind the good of those around us. This doesn’t mean we have to stay within rigid cultural stereotypes, but within a specific culture’s parameters, we love our neighbors by making deliberate choices to minimize confusion about our gender. An obvious application of this principle would prohibit men in the USA from wearing dresses. Other issues like nail-painting, hair-length, or earrings are harder to discern.

Here are two questions you can ask someone if you’re unsure about the propriety of their presentation:

1. What do you want to communicate to others through this clothing/accessory?
2. How does this clothing/accessory either help or hinder you in living as the gender God created you to be?

“Do I Need to Get Another Surgery?”

But what about detransitioners who have taken heavy doses of cross-sex hormones or have had surgeries performed? To what lengths should they go to reverse these decisions? 

It’s important to keep in mind the reality that before the resurrection of our bodies in glory, we will have scars in this life. For some detransitioners, they can never fully reverse the effects of certain decisions they’ve made. The farther they’ve gone in artificially altering their bodies, the harder it will be to reverse those alterations. Again, we must have hearts of compassion in response to this suffering.

We do not believe that repentance would demand that expensive, invasive, and potentially dangerous surgeries be performed to give the semblance of reversing their transition efforts. A proper understanding of what makes someone male or female can acknowledge the remaining effects of sinful choices on their bodies while still fully embracing the ontological reality of their biological makeup. One woman who took heavy doses of testosterone must now shave her face. For her, it’s a daily act of repentance that reminds her of what Christ has done and what he will do for her one day.

But this also does not mean that it would always be wrong for someone to take certain steps to better conform with the gender they are. These are ultimately wisdom issues that would need to consider a variety of factors and circumstances. 

Detransitioners Need the Ordinary Means of Grace

While I’ve focused this article on specific steps that would uniquely help detransitioners in your church, ultimately these brothers and sisters need the same things we all need: God’s ordinary means of grace. Help detransitioners follow Jesus by encouraging their participation in his church.

Like us all, they need to hear the gospel every single week. If they’ve become a member of your church, they need to partake of the Lord’s Supper regularly. They need to sing the promises of Scripture while hearing those truths confirmed by the multitude of voices all around them. They need to regularly confess their sins to God and others, along with being assured of God’s free and gracious pardon through Jesus Christ. They need to be trained and discipled by sitting under the preaching of the whole counsel of God in his Word.

Detransitioners need what every Christian needs: they need Jesus, and they need the Holy Spirit to apply Christ’s work, day-in and day-out, to their hearts and lives.