Parents: Have an Ebenezer Mindset

Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, “Thus far the LORD has helped us.” (1 Samuel 7:12, NIV)

A mug with painted sunflowers.

A teddy bear with a beanbag tummy and paws.

A consignment store crystal fruit bowl.

A faded hand-woven blanket.

These are some of my “Ebenezers,” defined as “stones of help.” Milestone markers. Reminders of God’s character and work. They all represent points of mixed emotions. One recalls great relief and God’s perfect timing. Some mark expected (though not easy) forks in the road. Another item points to an as-yet-unfinished story. My daily life does not really need any of these items . . . or does it?

God Is in Favor of Ebenezers

God intended that these mile-markers should remind his people of his faithfulness, though possibly in the context of their own unfaithfulness. Samuel’s original Ebenezer commemorated a military victory over Israel’s enemies (1 Sam. 7:10–14). On another occasion, the Lord himself directed that twelve stones should be placed to mark the crossing of the Jordan into Canaan (Josh. 4:1–7). Centuries later, the Lord Jesus instituted the communion supper so that we are reminded of him and his sacrifice for us (Matt. 26:26–29). To God, remembering is important! He wants his children to have an Ebenezer mindset.  

Why Do We Need an Ebenezer Mindset?

We need Ebenezers because we forget.

As I look back over the years that my dear child has spent “following his heart,” I can forget things like the wealth of biblical knowledge that he still carries in his mind, the truth that he cannot really escape because it is God’s truth, taught to him by the Holy Spirit during his younger years. That is a comfort and a cause for greater peace as I trust the Lord for him now.

I also forget what I know about the nature of my heavenly Father: he has already defeated the enemy of my child’s soul. He is always at work. He hears my prayers. He cares about my heart on this long journey. One of the four Ebenezers I mentioned above marks my dear child’s move from home, ultimately to settle with the man he married. When I see that Ebenezer, I am reminded that the Lord is still at work; that he is my hope.

We need Ebenezers because sometimes it’s hard to praise the Lord.

When our dear children have turned from Truth and their Creator, it is easy—perhaps automatic—to do nothing but mourn, to be ruled by the disappointment their choices bring us. We can easily wander into endless what-if thinking, entertaining and fearing the worst. An Ebenezer habit, by contrast, includes rehearsing in our minds the attributes of our Father; it can help us cultivate praise toward him, even amid sad circumstances. The circumstances have not changed him. He and his Word are eternal, always trustworthy; they are our shelter and bedrock. 

We need Ebenezers because our God is sovereign.

An Ebenezer mindset is not just a fingers-crossed, hope-so strategy or some sort of mental gymnastics to cheer us up. Rather, it is a mindset based on fact—BIG fact! His plans for us and our dear children are from “before the foundation of the world” (Eph. 1:4). He is an “Alpha and Omega” God (Rev. 1:8) who can use the evil of fallen humanity and a fallen world somehow to accomplish his purposes: our good and his glory. How can good come from the choices my child is making? The answers to that are wrapped in his sovereignty, his person, and his eternal purposes. So, we watch him weave; we pray; we pour out our hearts; we, ourselves, are taught and changed. We remember him.  We do not need to understand in order to trust! 

We need Ebenezers to share the truth with others.

Israel’s leaders were clear about the usefulness of Ebenezers, whether visible things or verbal rehearsals of her history. The repeated handing-down of accounts of God’s working, blessing, and faithfulness was essential to producing a godly next generation. It also kept older believers God-focused during years of many challenges. 

Our Ebenezers can be literal, like Samuel’s memorial stone or my beanbag teddy bear and sunflower mug. Or they can be testimonial, like a Hebrew father’s bedtime retelling of daily manna or crossing the Red Sea. The point is: Establish some of them! Let them minister to your mind and heart. Let them remind you of very good times or very difficult times. Let them send you to prayer, praise, and testimony. 

Samuel’s Ebenezer was a reminder of God’s faithfulness and victory. Jesus Christ is God’s ultimate Ebenezer for us. “God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself ” (2 Cor. 5:19). The Lord Jesus fulfills God’s promises (2 Cor. 1:20), he brings God’s grace and redemption to believers (John 1:12), and he is present with us always (Matt. 28:20).  

Remember and be encouraged by God’s Son himself: “Immanuel—God with us” (Matt. 1:23)!

Do you have an Ebenezer mindset? We’d love to hear about your Ebenezers! Please write to [email protected] to share.