AI Dating and Chatfishing: Are You Dating a Robot?

Dating in 2026 is not for the faint-hearted. As in practically every aspect of our society, artificial intelligence is changing the dating landscape, too. Believe it or not, using AI dating tools to engage with someone online is a commonplace trend. But how is AI being used in dating today? What is chatfishing? And what should discerning Christians consider?

What Is Chatfishing?

Chatfishing is when someone carries on the initial online chatting phase of dating using the assistance of AI. Most people consider chatfishing to be deceptive and wrong. ‘Chatfishing someone’ can range significantly, from asking AI to help with clever replies all the way to carrying on entire conversations using AI to craft your responses, word for word.

If there is a lull in a text-based conversation, a user might ask, “Help me think of a clever question to ask to keep the conversation going,” or “What can I say to show that I’m a good listener?” Others will ask AI to analyze the profile of a love interest and develop conversation topics based on their likes and dislikes. This could involve making a joke based on someone’s favorite movie—a move sure to land well with them—but it’s a movie you’ve not actually seen. 

Chatfishing is not a fringe practice. Nearly half of Gen Z singles have already used AI in their dating life, whether to build better profiles, craft stronger openers, or screen for compatibility. Use of AI among singles has jumped 333% from 2024 to 2025. Popular dating app Hinge launched prompt feedback assistance through AI last year, and now there are “wingman apps” specifically designed to help daters craft their profile and online persona to maximize their appeal on the dating market.

While any genuine Christian could affirm that lying to a potential date is wrong, how should we think about using AI to enhance communication in online dating? Let’s look at a few principles, and then I’ll offer some heart diagnostic questions.

AI Dating Tools for Editing and Enhancing Your Life

You can use AI to enhance the look and feel of your online profile on many modern dating platforms. From making sure to have at least one picture with a pet (though, for men, pictures with cats are shown to reduce their likeability!) to removing cliche phrases from your profile to help you stand out from the crowd, there’s a spectrum of enhancements to your profile and written correspondence which could result in deceiving others. This is the truest definition of being chatfished: meeting someone in person, after having carried on an online conversation for days, weeks, or months, only to discover that the in-person conversation is not as clever, empathetic, or exciting. To the victim, it feels like you’re talking to a different person. Enhancement slides into deception. But where is the line?

Principle 1: Transparency and Honesty Are Vital in Dating

For the Christian, dating is not just a fun activity (though you should have fun!). It’s a process of getting to know someone intentionally with an eye toward marriage. It can be tempting to avoid vulnerability and honesty in dating because inevitably, as you get to know someone, they will see your weakness and sin. They might reject you.

While you won’t find the word “chatbot” in your concordance, some relevant considerations in AI dating can be found in the term “defrauding.” Defrauding is when someone leads another to believe one thing, and then, by deception, takes something from them. In the Bible, the term is most often mentioned in the contexts of business and trade (e.g. Deut. 24:14–15), though it’s also mentioned in the context of relationships (1 Thess. 4:6).

It’s notable how strongly God speaks against defrauding: “Unequal weights and unequal measures are both alike an abomination to the Lord” (Prov. 20:10, my emphasis). He burns with holy anger when one person defrauds another made in his image. Failing to present who you really are, including having AI speak for you, can be a form of defrauding someone. It leads them to believe that you’re one way when, in reality, you are not. It’s akin to a sort of “personality plagiarism.” Even if you agree with what AI has generated for you, you’re engaging deceptively by presenting its words as your own. Ultimately, your date will bear the cost of your deception.

This subtle form of defrauding someone can be seen in things like using AI to craft your sense of humor or in weightier matters like sharing about your sexual past. A godly person will not ask, “How honest do I have to be with my potential future spouse?” but “How can I walk in truth and honestly from the very start of this relationship?” God is truth (John 14:6) and love rejoices in the truth (1 Cor. 13:6), so how can we, as God’s people, do the same?

• Am I trying to prove that I’m a certain kind of person (smooth, confident, witty, smart) rather than embracing who God made me to be (awkward, clumsy, shy, weak, vulnerable)?
• Would you be ashamed if your date knew you used AI to craft responses or portions of your profile? Why or why not?

AI Dating Tools for Analyzing and Guiding Your Relationship

Many want to use AI dating tools to provide analysis and guidance in the unknowns of developing a relationship. They want wisdom. The glow of a screen has now replaced lip-biting questions to a close friend—What do you think he meant by that?! What should I say to her next?! You can now copy and paste entire text correspondences into a chatbot and get a thorough analysis of the relationship with custom advice for how to move forward.

While I can understand the appeal of this, we must ask ourselves what we lose when we embrace AI dating tools (or any technology) in building a relationship that may lead to marriage. While research and technology-mediated tools can be helpful, they can never replace the fountain of wisdom found in God’s Word and the safety of a multitude of counselors in the local church.

Principle 2: Wisdom Is Found in the Triune God, His People, and His Word

Robots don’t have true wisdom; they only recognize patterns and compile information. True wisdom is slow—it takes conversation, listening, vulnerability, and weakness. You have to mine for it like a precious jewel (Prov. 3:13–15); you can’t Google it or find it in a large language model. I love how directly Proverbs 4:7 puts it: “The beginning of wisdom is this: get wisdom, and whatever you get, get insight.” It’s already a labor to pursue wisdom, so why spend your efforts searching where it can’t be found?

Using AI to help advise and analyze in dating can be appealing, particularly for those who lack deep in-person connections. If this is where you find yourself, know that you were designed by God for fellowship with his people, and that your Maker offers you plentiful wisdom! Listen to James 1:5: “If anyone lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” Before you ask ChatGPT, ask God for wisdom. God also places Christians in local churches where you can find wisdom and safety in an abundance of counselors (Prov. 11:14).

• Am I using AI to analyze the inherently uncertain terrain of dating because I long for a false sense of control?

• Am I looking for AI advice because I am not known deeply by real people?

• Am I looking for AI advice because I don’t want to risk the vulnerability inherent with needing counsel and help in dating?

AI Dating Tools for Comfort and Security

Dating is an exercise of the heart. It’s filled with hopes and dreams, highs and lows. It can bring a grown man to tears and make a stoic question everything. Amid an emotionally unpredictable experience of dating, our hearts will naturally long for comfort. Where we find this comfort is a deeply theological matter.

Principle 3: God Can Use Discomfort and Uncertainty to Develop Our Affections For and Reliance Upon Christ

Running from discomfort and uncertainty and seeking false comfort is antithetical to the way of the Christian. Consider James’s words again: “Count it all joy, brothers, when you face trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness” (James 1:2).

The uncertainty, vulnerability, and risk inherent in dating is indeed a trial to embrace with Christ by your side. AI can say true things, but it can’t offer true comfort amid the uncertainty and risk of dating.

• Are there things in dating that I wish I didn’t have to suffer? In these difficulties, am I looking to chatbots for hope?

• Are there things I wish I understood in dating? In these unknowns, am I looking to chatbots for knowledge, insight, or comfort?

• Is there an immediate comfort I’m craving in the kindness of a chatbot’s responses? How is God calling me to wait on him for comfort?

God Our Anchor

When you need advice, the triune God is your Counselor. In uncertainty, he is your Comforter. And when you’re tempted to be someone you’re not, remember that he’s your Creator. Christ is all you need to navigate the difficulty and uncertainty of dating with integrity. Remember him—his character, his love, and who you are in him—and, if you use AI at all, let it be for his glory.