The beauty of Christ being inbetween

The beauty of Christ being inbetween

A close and dear friend leaves town on Saturday and I’m already missing her, feeling the ache of her absence.  You know, goodbyes are a part of this fallen world, and will be destroyed when Christ restores creation to the beauty of God’ sinless design. And yet, while we live on the soil of this earth, He calls us to love well and let go when paths go in different directions. And for me, goodbyes are HARD because emotional pain is hard… scary even at times.

So… what do we do with the pain of goodbyes and/or change? Dietrich Bonhoeffer, in his amazing book Life Together teaches how as believers we are not to relate “directly” to one another but always through Christ. The person of Jesus is the One in whom we live and and move and have our being and He is to always be “inbetween” ourselves and others. The beauty of this is that we can trust Him to draw our hearts close, and to bring distance; to allow us to journey together, or perhaps to know one another from a distance. When Christ is central, He grants closeness and He grants distance.

To love deeply and sincerely does open our hearts to the pain of loss and change… but it’s worth it! We participate in the sufferings of Christ, who Himself experienced loss and change in His relationships. People MATTERED to Jesus and He  invested His  heart, life and affections in relational ways.  I’m not nearly as courageous as Him… but I’m learning step by step to love… and to let go.

Ellen Dykas
About The Author
Ellen oversees the Philadelphia office’s ministry to women. Her ministry is focused on discipleship with women who are struggling with sexual and relational sins in their own lives, as well as women who are impacted by the sexual sins of their spouses or others. Ellen is available to teach, equip and encourage others (churches, organizations) to become more effective in ministering the gospel of Christ into the midst of all aspects of sexual brokenness.


  • By Mary 30 Mar 2009

    Tell me how to do that truly – to truly love deeply and let go?

  • By Irene Maguire 23 Jul 2009

    loving anyone can only happen as we allow Christ’s love to be what we are living in, and what we allow to flow out of us! That might sound too “other worldly” 🙂 but the reality is that it IS very much something “other” in that we can’t find it in ourselves. Jesus describes Himself in John 15 as the Vine and those who are His followers as “branches”. He goes on later in this chapter to explain that as we abide/dwell/make-a-home in Him, we will experience “complete joy”. As we grow in experiencing Jesus as our Home, and His love as “complete”, we are then able to enjoy other “branches” for what they are: people and relationships rather than being “heart-fillers”. God does give us “each other” as people to live life alongside each other, to experience His love between us…but this can only happen in a whole and healthy way as we grow in our understanding that Jesus alone is the one we can ‘abide’ in!


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